Fat Kid to Plus Size Woman

As our world revolves to changes and many of us is breaking norms, in a good way. So here I am joining the bandwagon to share my experience from being a fat kid to a plus size woman that I am now. I’m happy that there is a lot of people talking about body positivity or loving yourself in any shape that your body is in, thanks to social media. In Asia we still have few representation for this movement. As an Asian I felt it’s my duty to speak up to share my journey and hoping that kids or teens or women of Asia that feels indifferent would learn something out of it.

As a kid, I always look forward for my mom taking us to the department store to buy new stuff. Three occasions that I always mentally take note; before school year start, birthday and Christmas season. Excitement was constantly what I felt entering a department store, but as soon as I start looking for sizes my level of excitement drops. It was frustrating to know that they don’t have it on my size for the shoes I want and even for the shirt that is SO IN. I even remembered going to boys section to get size for my shoes and at the back of my head WHY SHOULD I GO HERE I’M NOT A BOY! Most of the time I end up with stuff that I really don’t like but agreed to get them because I don’t have a choice and have nothing to use. At some point in time, we resolved this by asking my Aunt to send me shoes and other things from USA. Thanks to her really!

Let’s talk about turning into teenager, this is the normal stage that you will have awareness of yourself and start having crushes with opposite gender. At that time, I was asking myself HOW WILL MY CRUSH LOOK AT ME WHEN I WEAR BAGGY SHIRT! The closest thing I wore to feel more feminine is a short or a jumper dress. But I still don’t feel it’s me. Most of the time it cause my inferiority complex interacting with others. I just felt something is wrong and can’t figure it out.

I think I was 16 when I started to really look for clothes that I feel good at. We had an activity in the school and we’re allowed to wear civilian clothes. Then I remembered wearing a brown blouse with U shape neckline and puff sleeves. The blouse is a bit hugging my body shape and I felt so good in it because normally I wear baggy shirt. The first time I dressed and felt it was ME. My friends and classmates gave me praises on how I look and because I think I also felt it inside of me that it radiant outside. That was a turning point for me and realized that dressing up is also to represent myself.

It was a journey for me because finding clothes for big sizes before can also be compared in finding a gold. It is FREAKING HARD! My motto before is AS LONG AS I CAN PUT IT ON MY BODY AND IT COVERS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS PLUS I FEEL COMFORTABLE I’M GOOD! The reason behind the motto is because I would try to fit into clothes that has stretchy fabrics and not even on my size.

It’s fascinating now that as a plus size girl or woman have a lot of choices for clothing now. That is really made for our type of body and you’ll feel good at it. I would say dressing up good or properly is a part of me now because I express who am I and it’s like an art for me. The sole reason for me doing it everyday is for myself and not for anyone!

I know for some plus size woman it’s hard because the society portraits a different standard of beauty, especially here in Asia. Why? What comes in your mind when they say Asian woman? The answer will always be petite and small. DON’T LISTEN TO THIS CRAPPY STUFF! Every woman is different biologically and in physique.