Deconditioning the Ego
The ego gets a bad wrap. However, the ego has a significant role in our lives. This is the part of ourselves that collects all of the data from our life experiences that then form belief systems to keep us safe, alive, and accepted in the community we are born into. That is a pretty dang important role. And at the very same time, the condition of our ego oftentimes is like a rotten, misdirected toddler that didn’t get effective parenting and built all sorts of bad habits that lack structure, discipline, and overall a sound compass to direct our lives. Very few of us rarely get effective parenting, and I as a parent can attest to this. It’s incredibly challenging to 100% of the time give good, sound, effective parenting. Because of this reality, most of the time, our ego then goes on to not being fit — in some, many or most areas — to be in charge of our lives and our decisions.
Yet most of us go about life unaware that this “rotten toddler” is running our lives, and we live frustrated at the condition of our lives, relationships, careers, and many other areas. But again, our ego is not innately bad. This essential part of ourselves simply needs to be lovingly and compassionately “reparented.” This “toddler” needs to go through a process of deconstruction and deconditioning of all the bad habits and belief systems that have been taught and ingrained in it’s ego’s identity. Therefore, if you want your life to change for the better, you may want to look at the programming of your ego. So, what steps are necessary to restructure your ego into a version that will be better fit to direct your life into the reality you’d prefer to live in?
First of all, this process takes awareness. This is the first step to creating a shift in our external reality. Awareness requires you to take inventory of your life and consider the areas that aren’t going well for you. Write this down. Pick one problem area to focus on at a time. It’s important to know this process is not a quick fix, it will be a journey. This area could be dissatisfaction in your health and wellness, career, relationships, confidence & self love etc. Once you’ve identified an area, start combing through the patterns that have been at play for as long as you can remember. Notice these patterns and where you may have learned them. Recall memories or experiences that have shaped these patterns and learned behaviors. Notice how your ego has integrated these patterns and behaviors that are not creating the results you’d prefer in any particular area of your life. Once you can identify the patterns and influences, you’ve taken the first step to become aware. And awareness is necessary to regaining control, agency, and power to make the changes that can shift your reality. Only this is when we can stop being the “victims” of this “rotten toddler” of our ego.
Secondly… well the second step doesn’t matter unless the first one happens. This is what the great Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist Carl G. Jung meant when he said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” What you’ll need next is to get in the habit and daily practice of making the subconcious concious. And how do you do this? You’ll need to develop tools that will consistently give you access to your subconcious mind. There are many entry points: meditation, breathwork, hypnotherapy, intentional ceremonial plant medicines etc. You’ll need these tools to develop a daily practice… yes a daily practice. There is no magic wand or snap of a finger. So listen, if you are ready to be committed to going through this process of deconditiong your ego, there are all sorts of practicioners that can assist in guiding your process. Consider visiting my website to learn how my hypnotherapy and mindset coaching can benefit your process. Let’s connect!
Sending you all the best life has to offer!
Ruth Hobson
