Feeling Disconnected

The minute I wake up, I reach for my phone and check for notifications. The ritual is as numbing as it is unsatisfying, yet I get some kind of kick from it, as though I could be nourished by the shadow of a sandwich.

I like, share, and comment, though inside I feel empty, while each shallow interaction heightens my loneliness.

What am I really connecting with? A thought of a thought, recycled a thousand times. Memories, jokes, media; fodder for an already flooded mind. Precious little that truly connects a heart and soul with another.

What I discover is that I really need to disconnect from so much abstraction, distraction, and virtualization. Make space to experience the fullness of this present moment, even if it is curled up on the couch with a stuffed nose. Feel the presence of other human beings. Meditate and rediscover for myself what is truly nourishing.

This is the real secret of life - to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play. — Alan Watts

For now, I will be cutting down on social media, until I’m no longer in the habit of using it as a way to live life by proxy. And when I do interact, whatever the medium, I want to remember to be generous with my presence, empathy, and attention, fostering true connection.