Breaking Through to the Other Side: How to Survive Your Next Transition
I’ve been going through a powerful metamorphosis. These things don’t come along that often, and when they do, they can smack you right in the face, drag you through the muck, and threaten to hold you in it’s darkness forever. The key to getting through to the other side is cultivating your own emotional resilience and reliance on yourself.
I want to illustrate the lessons I’ve gleaned recently to help you along your own transition whether it’s the loss of a relationship, becoming your own boss, or moving across the country for a new adventure.
This past Winter has been one of self-discovery and finally seeing the universe for what it actually is: a shared construct made up of essentially the same thing (love in it’s purest form). I spent lots of time in deep reflection and study learning the different ways to see the world, welcoming practical magic back into my life, and shedding anything from my life that did not belong or speak to me on a core level.
The middle of January brought the end of my romantic relationship of over 3 years, and the subsequent moving out of our place to my friend’s lovely home in Austin while I grieved and tried to figure out my next steps. This non-dramatic split was a long time coming, and I even saw this path in my tarot reading during our Being Boss trip to New Orleans in October. However, being a hopeless romantic (Pisces, don’t ‘cha know) and not wanting to go through such a drastic upheaval (who does?), I soldiered on and fought until I knew it was over. I don’t give up easily.
I had a huge realization that you can’t go against the flow of the universe, no matter how hard you try. I tried with every inch of my being. In the end, I found immense truth in this:
“All energy flows according to the whims of the great Magnet. What a fool I was to defy him.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Since then, everything in my life has changed. I didn’t know where I was going to live, how I was going to do it, or who I was sometimes even without the influence of my partner. I’ve known for a long time that something big was coming, and that the shedding of this past life was only the beginning. I slogged through doing the bare minimum of client work the first couple of weeks while I dealt with the roller coaster of emotions and tried to ponder my future. I managed to squeeze out one blog post, but wasn’t able to use writing as the outlet I normally could. I worried that this was going to negatively impact my success while simultaneously knowing this transition period is a mythic journey I will write inspirational articles about for years to come. My core self knew that these emotional distractions were only the beginning of an epic metamorphosis I couldn’t quite wrap my head around yet.
Cut to this past weekend where I along with my dearest and new friends from my years of living in Seattle converged in Palm Springs for a 40th birthday celebration and the new perspective we were all seeking in our own way. It was a time of intimate bonding and cleansing that set me on the right path. I highly recommend a visit to the Integratron in Joshua Tree National Park if you are needing a neural and emotional cleanse! I knew this would be a weekend of sharing around some of the most powerful and just plain funny beings I know. We laughed ecstatically, luxuriated in hedonistic pleasures, and connected in ways that you simply can’t falsify.
It was a reminder that everything is love, no matter how we may feel from time to time in our darkest hour.
My depression and uncertainty systematically fell away, and as soon as I got on the plane back it washed over me: I need to go home to Seattle. We joked about it while I was there while I was discussing my preliminary plans. I would probably find a temporary place in Austin where it was familiar but not quite home, while I figured out where the next move in the U.S. would be. What I had been looking for and craving for so long had been right in front of my face all weekend, however. I had found my tribe of self-possessed, deep-thinking creatives, and this is something that cannot be fabricated. My goal is to be back in Seattle by my birthday in mid-march (the week of rebirth) to be back in my element for this time of incredible power and creativity I can feel surging through me.
*Side note: I’ve recently set up a Go Fund Me campaign to help raise the funds for moving my things up to Seattle. You can help out here if you like!
This transition time has given me a broader and more focused perspective on what I’m doing with my life and business, which can be difficult to separate. No one is really talking about how your personal life has a huge effect on the transformation of your business. While I didn’t welcome this one at first, I’m looking forward to this path and am so glad it’s mine.
Mr. Morrison explained it best long before I was around.
I wanted to share my story with you because I know we’ve all gone through experiences like this. Nothing is more certain than change, and we struggle as humans with the truth of impermanence in our lives.
I’ve distilled down the lessons that have come to light for me so that hopefully you can keep these in mind during your next transition in life. If you know of someone going through a difficult time right now, please do pass this article on to them.
Give yourself the time to grieve.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will this new chapter of your life. Take each day slowly and don’t pressure yourself to make it all right TODAY. These things take time to build organically, and you don’t want to make rush decisions that you will regret later. In short, give yourself space.
Cultivate your support system.
Reach out when you need to and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. The main thing that is getting me through this time is that I was willing to lean in to that vulnerability instead of being paralyzed by the hurt I was feeling. What I discovered is that connection goes a long way to healing, and the people who are in your life are there to love you, otherwise, they wouldn’t be there to begin with. If you do not have these people in your life, please by all means seek out a trusted counselor or coach to help you work through this in a supportive environment.
Listen to your inner guide.
Whether starting your own business, freelancing on the side or moving to another location, you will receive advice from everyone in your life. This is normal, and mostly comforting to know you have people around that care.
But don’t listen to all the advice.
Spending time getting to know yourself and finding your inner strength will help you decipher what guidance you should take into your own lexicon of knowledge. Not everyone has your collection of experiences, and many times they are projecting their own perspective onto your situation. Through meditation and deep contemplation you will know which direction to go.
Cultivating emotional resilience is probably the best advice I can give you. I refuse to crumble under the intense pressure that life hands us sometimes. I won’t get lost in a hole of despair the way I did in my early youth. We must soldier on, and in order to do that, we need to give ourselves time, find our support system, and listen to our inner guide. That is my gift to you, friends.
Trista is a transformational brand and web designer for deep-thinking creative entrepreneurs. She guides her people through self-discovery and helps them get their vision online. Find out more about working with her one-on-one to gain a deeper understanding of the purpose behind your creative work, uncover what makes you distinctive in your industry, and create ways to bring this to your online presence.
WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER.