10 or 11 things you hope will come true in 2016 tech
Spoiler: They don’t want you to win.
In response to the 2016 anti-predictions by Sean Percival, Christine Tsai, and Dave McClure, which, for the record, were still predictions that could be totally possible in the Silicon Valley tech scene (spoiler: Stephen Curry is actually starting a venture capital fund called Chef Curry Capital that only invests in food startups), I’d like to suggest a few of my own predictions for Silicon Valley/Roundabout and startup life in general.
I’ll even pull a Ben Horowitz and include a hip hop quote (although next year I hear he’s gone country).
“And just as I predicted here we go again.” -Drake
So let’s get to it (if you aren’t familiar with normal blog formats, that means scroll down).
🔑 Airbnb announces another new logo. This time it’s real.
🔑 Airbnb merges with Kink.com. Logo stays the same.
🔑 A man attempts to live for a year from home using only on-demand services. He dies when 99% of the on-demand startups go out of business.
🔑 Dave McClure resolves to never fucking swear again. He swears again, and again, and right now.
🔑 Silicon Valley oceanic community BlueSeed builds a Death Star, as it’s the only way to overcome U.S. immigration laws.
🔑 San Francisco rent prices go down. It’s an April Fools joke.
🔑 Elon Musk leaves (Earth).
Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed watch my Medium analytics barely move from this article’s popularity. #HFGSD
If you have predictions of your own that could be considered funny, share them (again, in blog terms that means comment below). Maybe we’ll make a book out of them some day and I’ll cut you in on the Kickstarter rewards.
And remember to call.
Let’s SQUISH IT in 2016.