Getting Out

A Project Proposal

“Everybody tells little lies here and there, but it’s important not to make it a habit. It’s also important to listen to your mom, because all she wants is for you to be safe, and if you keep lying to her, she isn’t going to let you go anywhere anymore.” -Big Jim (my grandfather)

Big Jim (far left) and his siblings on their farm in Lyons, GA

Big Jim’s House, Rincon, GA, Spring 2014

Around my sophomore year of high school, my mom sent me up to my grandpa’s (Big Jim’s) house in Rincon, GA, about an hour away from our home on Wilmington Island in Savannah, GA. I liked to visit him as much as I could because we usually went to the shooting range or did yardwork together, but this time it wasn’t the kind of “visit” I liked to take. This particular one I remember so vividly because it wasn’t just fun and games; it was a serious life lesson that I learned from a man that I have looked up to my whole life.

My dad has been absent since I was 1 year old, so Big Jim stepped in as much as he could to fill that fatherly role that I needed when I was growing up. At this point in high school, around the end of my sophomore year, I had frequently been going to house parties whenever I got the chance. My friends and I used to say that we were going to our friend Jacob’s house as a cover, rather than telling our parents the truth about where we were actually going. In hindsight, I can easily see why my mother was so upset when she discovered I had been lying for almost an entire year about my location every weekend. So, when she found out my little secret, she sent me straight up to Rincon to go have a talk with my grandpa. I complained to him about how strict my mom was on me, and he responded with an explanation of how lucky I was that she cared about me so much in the first place.

This visit was the first time he ever told me directly about his enlistment into the Marine Corps. I had heard stories from my mom and my grandma, but I had never actually sat down and talked to him about it. He told me, “they don’t let you join the military until you’re 18, but I knew I could handle it. Danny [his older brother] was joining the Air Force, so I gave mom a military parental consent form, and told her it was a field trip permission slip, so I could get out of there too.”

We both started laughing hysterically. Big Jim always had a way of cheering me up when I was upset, and he told stories in a way that made me never want to stop listening. After he told me about lying to his mom, he said, “I figured if I didn’t get out of Lyons back then, I never would,” and that sentence resonated deeply with me. He then lectured me about how I should have more respect for my mom, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what made Lyons bad enough to make him want to leave his home and family behind him no matter the cost. Lyons is just a small, rural town in central Georgia. It might not be the bustling environment that some folks look for when building a future, but it was all that Big Jim had ever known. At this point, I didn’t know much about his father, who passed away in a car accident only a year before his enlistment, and I certainly didn’t know much about his family situation. I love the home I grew up in, and to this day I still wonder why he desperately wanted to get away from his own.

Big Jim in his Dress Blues

As an adolescent, I never realized how important Big Jim was to me. After he passed away about two years ago, it became more than clear how much I treasured his influence in my life. With my father leaving my mom and me before my second birthday, my grandpa was always there for me when I needed him the most. I realize that I took his presence for granted when he was still here, but now I will forever be thankful that he took the time to support me in my endeavors.

Before beginning my research for this project, I knew that I had family in Lyons and Reidsville, GA, but I was not aware of the history behind it. I did not know how long my family had been in Georgia, or where my last name originated, but working on this has ignited a fire of curiosity in me about my ancestry that I have not experienced before.

I’d like to interview my grandmother (Zan Zan) and my mom about Big Jim and their lives together in rural Georgia. Zan Zan and Big Jim got married at a very young age, and her best friend was his little sister, my Aunt Connie. Since he has passed away, I feel like Zan Zan will remember the most about their younger life in Lyons, and I am particularly interested in the reasons they wanted to leave. My mom also lived in and around Lyons until she moved to New Jersey for middle school and most of high school, so I’d like to pick her brain as well about her emotions relating to Lyons and what she remembers from growing up there.

Oral Interview Questions

1. What was it like growing up around farmland?
2. Did he ever talk about joining the military before doing so?
3. Why was joining the military the solution to his problem of leaving Lyons?
4. What did you do when he was gone?
5. What was his motivation for getting a college degree after being enlisted?
6. Why did he choose a government job even after getting a college degree?
7. What was life like for the Youmans family before Big Jim left? Was the family close, or did everyone tend to keep to themselves?
8. Did Big Jim ever talk about his father after he passed away?
9. Was the Youmans family well-known around Lyons when you and big Jim were young?
10. As a parent to my mom, was he anything like his parents were to him and his siblings?
11. Did he ever talk about missing back home?
12. Why did he come back to Georgia after living in New Jersey?
13. Did he keep in touch with family when the three of you lived in New Jersey? (Anyone specific?)