Sex and the Super Bowl

This is my thoughts from Super Bowls past. Don’t know what will happen this year as the Patriots and the Falcons butt heads, but forget all the violence and see what happens in the sexual realm . . .

Think Prince had a little inferiority complex playing for the Super Bowl halftime? Here let me project my big cock and balls up on a screen to show you that I am more manly than Brian Urlacher. Tears were rolling down my eyes as the TV screen flashed the ankh-guitar cum cock-balls. I couldn’t stop laughing and only one other person in the entire conservative religious infested room understood why I was in hysterics rolling on the floor. You couldn’t even see Janet Jackson’s nipple with all the jewelry, even when you blew it up to twenty times the size, but Prince saved us the trouble, he blew his up for us.

So what does it say about the Family Values Football culture that a woman’s nipples are enough to signal the downfall of Western Civilization, but a little pipsqueak rocker from Minnesota can project his wannabe cock to millions of Americans and not even a flicker of protest.

Apparently representations of the male genitals are less offensive than the female breast to our society. I’m just going to throw out an idea here and I’d love to hear your comments, but repressing female sexuality is necessary for maintaining conservative religious, political and economic control., i.e. the pussy grabbing Trump Tower. The patriarchal control is phallic and in a symbolic and in a practical sense exposing female sexuality challenges the existing authority in a way that male sexuality does not. We saw that play out in the pussy-hatted protests. I realize it is not that simple, but the lapse into commercialized violence on this Sunday for the 51st time seems like the actual regression into attitudes that led us into our current political cluster-fuck.

Back twenty years ago or so, I remember a Time magazine article that made a bunch of people hot under the color because it described football in terms of sexuality. Tightly wrapped buttocks and genitals and enlarged head and shoulders battle to penetrate the opponents end zone — something like that. Even spiking the ball after the touchdown, became yet another violative penetration. The homo-ification of football really seemed to bother a lot of people, yet given the Snickers Ad from a previous Super Bowl, I’d say that homo-eroticism and football are still intertwined (not to mention Prince’s rather androgynous appearance, despite his twelve foot cock with the pointy circumcised tip.)


The LGBT party line was that the Snicker’s ad was homophobic. I responded by saying “Take a look at the guys face as he dives in — pure lust. The entire thing was homoerotic, from phallic Snicker’s bar peeled out of its wrapper to the deep kiss. Only the ending was homophobic.” You can no longer see the Snicker’s ad.

Now same sex marriage is part of the culture. Football is still a game of violence. Prince is dead. Janet Jackson just had a baby. The game will happen. We will talk about commercials and hits and scores. Lady Gaga will do something at halftime.

We should all huddle together, go deep, and let out our ecstatic cries of pleasure — it is the Super Bowl after all.