I think this world could use a touch of honesty. This is the world we live in.

I have mixed feelings, but did not regret having my child ever. Was I ready to be a mother at 15 and unwed? There is no way.

I had miscarried 3 times before I was pregnant with her. I was about 5 foot and less than 100 pounds when I got pregnant. I was too small in diameter to have her naturally and she was breach. She weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces at birth. They did attempt to get her to turn not that it would have made a difference as I still would have to have her C-section if I wanted to survive the birth. I had never had any surgery before. It was scary.

One of the girls in a bed next to me having a baby was 12 years old. I will not tell her story or circumstance. Just that this is a very cruel and messed up world we live in.

The response to my pregnancy and the birth of my child it seemed most everyone had an opinion on. The judgement and attempt to make me feel like an outcast was there long before that. I did have many friends and a brother that were accepting of my circumstance.

The faces and voices of shock on the world around me as if these things had never happened before and that they were to be kept a secret made me angry. I was born into a very judgmental world where people pay a lot of attention after the fact and have a lot to say about things after the damage is done. I just did what many have done and made the best of a bad situation. It was the best I could do and there were many there that helped me and my child or we would not have survived.

Before I was 21 I had cancer and then surgery. I would no longer be able to have children. I am so very grateful for the one I have!

I do not forget but have learned to forgive in the moment the best I can. It is a process.

)