Thank you for reading!
Christopher Van-Santen
111

Together we are moving forward Christopher. The should have, could have would have will drift away but will be there in our emotional memories to guide us in the future as we have learned from it, repeating it, doing better or different if the situation ever arises again.

I spend my moment’s one at a time over writing emotional memories as I live with PTSD and this underlying depression that is of the past.

I am working with open mind techniques to become more engaged with myself and my surroundings allowing the filtration and defense mechanism in my mind to create new pathways and memories as I know it is me that is creating priorities and the significance to all things in my life and this perspective.

I have spent a life time breaking and creating these patterns that were conditioned into me as a child. Replacing the past with that is a thought and I am in the here and now not predicting what the future has in store for me.

It is what it is and we will see.

I challenge and questions my senses as they are built from my past experiences and interconnect in my brain like strings overwhelming me with thoughts and feelings, many are not of the moment. My body and mind always in motion attempting to find the balance I have not had since I was a small child. This was of physical and psychological abuse of warfare used on a child to control and manipulate.

I realized that I was attempting to create a world around me and situations to match those thoughts and feelings instead of finding my center and balance to accept the truth in an attempt to justify my behaviors and the behaviors of others. I had to accept a shared responsibility and the whole of the world and not just the harsh reality that was given. Forgiveness is an everyday part of my life that I have been using since I was a child and it is still a process for me as an adult.

The future gives me hope and opportunity as I know this is me now. One by one the internal conflicts subside and I no longer have a use for the things that were adding to my self-destruction or false sense of healing in the moment. I am feeding to what I choose to grow and will not let the world define me as I define myself only as a whole person.

We are not alone and are connected with everything everywhere. We are made of the past, the present and creating the future.

Make it real!

“Open Mind” 360: 2030

“Open Source: & “Local Support”