You’re placing way too much pressure on these guys who you aren't even sure want to be serious with you. Every one (who isn’t interested in you long term) will run away as soon as you drop that bombshell. it reminds me of a girl who used to introduce herself to people like this: “hi my name is Jane, and i used to have cancer.” That literally has nothing to do with anything so why have you made it instantly awkward with someone that it doesn’t need to be that way with?
Get to know him. When he has an idea of who you are, before finding out about your borderline personality disorder, he can then make a decision about whether he actually likes you or not. And any understanding individual could understand why you’d hold a piece of information like that back for a week or two. You’d naturally be nervous if you like the guy.
just be smarter. You’re already an open book by the sounds of it. the way it’s going with this guy at the moment is because you didn’t automatically spring all of your baggage onto him. No guy likes baggage, but we can deal with a woman who accepts every part of her. And then we’ll love you for it as we can do nothing less with a woman who is sure of herself.
At least that’s what I’d appreciate as a 20 something male.