Have you ever been around someone who leaves you feeling drained — physically, emotionally, psychologically?? Like they literally sucked all of your energy and life out from you?
I call these people the Energy Vampires.
The life suckers. The people who leave you exhausted. The people who add no value to your life, other than teaching you how to deal with difficult people.
These can be friends, family members, maybe a co-worker or boss…but if you’ve ever experienced it, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
They do this via a variety of ways, it comes in different forms. It could be confrontation or debate, it could be intensity, it could be the way that they make you feel about yourself, it could be the way they make you feel like you’re the one to blame for feeling the way you do.
Whatever their method, these people have a talent for consistently putting you into a bad energy or a bad funk.
I would normally say that we as individuals have the power to control our own reactions — we can hold ourselves accountable and not allow these people to suck our energy from us.
Unfortunately, with Vampires it’s very difficult. They feed off of your energy. Every second or minute that passes by, even if you are trying to control your own energy, they have an ability to suck it out from you.
This is why I’ve taken measures to cut them out of my life, or reduce my contact with them to the bare minimum. I have a 0 tolerance policy for vampires and I run for the hills when I feel one coming.
I love myself too much to surround myself with toxic people. It’s hard enough cultivating a positive energy as it is, let alone with someone trying to take yours from you all the time.
If my body, mind, and spirit were a cup, I want it to be overflowing with love and positive energy. Vampires are only here to find people with energy like this, and then suck it away.
So what are we to do? How can we protect ourselves from the proverbial “energy vampires”?
- No contact — Cut them out of your life. I don’t believe that these types of people can or will change, so it’s best to value your own happiness, safety, and security above all else.
- Low contact — Sometimes it’s inevitable that we have to meet with these people, so if we must, keep it to a minimum.
- Stone Wall — If you must deal with someone like this, there is a technique that I like to call the “Stone Wall” — show no emotion. No interest, no excitement, no anything. They feed off the ups and downs of your emotions, so the less you give them to play with, the less they can do to harm you.
- Don’t fall for the bait — They will often flatter you, or try to make you feel good about yourself, before they begin to take advantage. They need to draw you into their inner circle, make them feel trustworthy, so that they have your trust and openness. Realize that this is just bait, don’t take it and continue to stone wall away. If you give them this they will use it as the anchor to which they draw from you, even when you’re not in their presence.
- Set boundaries — Energy vampires hate boundaries. If you know that a person makes you feel this way, set time limits or rules in advance to protect yourself. Make them play by your rules. Make them show you respect for your space and emotions.
These are the techniques that have personally worked best for me, but it’s different for all of us.
At the root of it all, if you have the awareness to know that someone like this is around you, have the discipline and self love to pull yourself away from them. If you have the awareness to know that this person makes you feel a certain way, cultivate the ability to say no.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Who support, love, and encourage you. Who make you feel alive. Who bring out the best version of yourself.
Find more people like this, and fight to keep them in your life. Cut the energy vampires out without ever looking back, and watch how your life improves for the better.
Originally published at Troy Erstling.