Overflow your cup of self love

You can only love someone else if you have an excess of love for yourself.

Troy Erstling
4 min readFeb 5, 2019


I recently watched a video of Lisa Nichols that inspired the living hell out of me.

In this video she talks about how we need to “serve from our overflow” — That you can only give love to others when your cup is not only full of love, but OVERFLOWING with it.

Full isn’t enough. If I have a full cup and I give you half of mine, now I’m only half full. While I may have helped you to fill up your cup, it came at a cost to me.

The only way that I can give you love without having a detrimental effect on myself is to give from my excess, to give from my abundance.

“When love Is hurting, it’s because you haven’t given YOU everything YOU need yet, and you’re trying to give other people what you still need.”

We must fill our own cups first. We must give love to ourselves before we can give love to other people.

Overflow your cup with self love. Fall in love with YOU!

When you’re in love with someone you want to spend every day with them, every minute with them, do everything you can and share every adventure that you can.

Are you this way with YOU? Are you madly in love with yourself? Do you want to hug and kiss yourself like you would your significant other? Can you sit quietly with yourself and be at peace, feel completely calm and at ease? Can you make love to yourself? Have great conversations with yourself?

Or do you fight with yourself? Argue? Doubt? Criticize? Does your “inner-critic” run rampant everyday driving you insane and stressing you out? Do you have negative visualizations of everything going wrong?

Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who treats you like the latter example? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is full of negativity and anxiety and doubt?

Hell no!

So then why the hell would we do it to ourselves?!?!? Why would we talk to ourselves with anything BUT love and admiration and appreciation?!

You must be the sweetheart that you seek. You must be the caring nurturing…



Troy Erstling

Live a life worth writing about >>> troyerstling.com