Summer in Rear View
“You can’t really know where you should be going next, until you’ve taken a look at the road behind you”. — N.D Wilson “Death By Living”
This summer marks year 8 in a row of leaving home for the road. With a little less than 300K miles including a roundtrip adventure through Europe in the travel log, I have been fortunate enough to experience the road for everything it is.
I owe most of this mileage to Warped Tour and Kevin Lyman. The tour was the first real venue for Then, Now, Always to become a practical business that has provided for my wife and I for all these years. It became something realistic enough to even leave our day jobs for and attempt to pursue full time. Countless drives, months, and memories would mile mark the road our home and we are forever grateful.
And now, I look back. Another Summer in rear view. Heading back East and watching the light of Fall fade West. All the life lived recedes back now as a memory. I find myself staring at a blurred 2 months that felt more like a weekend getaway but I remember how fortunate I am to have been able to carve it into my past and have it shape who I am becoming.
“Part of the journey forward is a journey backward into our stories and interpreting them through the light of The Sacred Romance” — John Eldridge
We return a little lighter. The relief of bags finally unloaded and a spirit of weightlessness welcomes me as I cross the threshold back home.
A good journey allows us to lose a few things you start out with. Almost as a reminder that you can’t hold on to everything too seriously. An electric shaver, assumptions about the world, a few socks... you could call it a loss but you gained so much more from the trek that it outweighs the rest.
As I rest, I become aware that all the big differences I set out to make don’t compare to all the small ones that I got to be a part of.
Hindsight is really a lovely view but often enjoyed best through a different perspective.
When nothing looked like you thought it would, you start to understand that you couldn’t have imagined the outcome either. Most of my life will be like staring at a blank sheet of paper. I only know how to write so much by looking over my shoulder at experience. The rest is left to hope and faith that this will be a story worth living.
There will be no perfect answer as to how it should be written. But rather than always asking “What’s next?”, I try not to forget about “What’s Now”. Who am I becoming today?
One day we will get to look in the rear view again. Another year, maybe 60 more… we only get a few left. I hope you experience freedom when you look back. That faith gives you enough strength to carry the journey on until you feel the sweet relief of finally coming home. When everything will be unpacked and you can finally see who you were meant to be.
You will see how all the small differences manifested into a larger one in the lives you touched. I hope the perspective is more beautiful than you or I could ever have imagined.