Troy Lee Yan Xiang
Aug 28, 2017 · 8 min read
The Pinnacle of Dubrovnik, yet we humans look small no matter how much we have conquered.

​A search on Google will return the word ‘disruptor’ on Dictionary.com: to cause disorder or turmoil in; to destroy, usually temporarily, the normal continuance or unity of; interrupt; to break apart.

But what I am more interested in is the last definition:

Business. to radically change (an industry, business strategy, etc.), as by introducing a new product or service that creates a new market.

In ancient India myths, 3 of the main deities were Shiva, Brahma, and Vishnu. Respectively, they stand for being the destructor, creator and preserver.

I was always very interested in these 3 terms, because I see that the whole universe was based on this principle of creation, preservation and destruction. I had this misconception that the destroyer is someone very aggressive, and the latter two were more of the humble, modest type of deities.

After years of reading, I finally realized that all of them represents a phenomenon on Earth. The creation of something, continuation of it, destruction of the old and then repeating

the creation of something new and better. There is no inherent good or bad in each activity in itself. As one of the major teachings of Buddhist state: Nothing is permanent. To hope that one thing will be preserved forever is an illusion.

I was especially attracted to Shiva, the more I read, the more I loved him (if I can give him a gender, because he seems like a universe to me now rather than a person, but for simplicity, he is a male). He opened my eyes to the world of self-discovery, doing what is right for others, meditation, being in the moment, and continuing on the path that was set for us all. His symbolic dance destroys, but he does not destroy anything or everything. The destruction is only for the bad habits and the evils of the world. In a way, only through destruction of the old things, of the previously inefficient activities then can the new, then can the more efficient be released.

Ford cars eliminated the need for horses, iPod destroyed the Walkman, iPhone and Samsung removed Nokia, Facebook erased mySpace and Kodak, Google removed so many old ways of doing things, not just limited to search or ads. In a way, all these trail blazers are destroyers. But that is because their inventions provided a better value than the old ones. To hold onto the old ones because of past sentiments or successes is synonymous to holding only a broken plank of wood out in the open ocean, alone, to realize that the plank of wood is infested with the termite colony, with the Queen termite just beside your right elbow.

These destroyers did not come about by their own, very unlike the rice worms that seemingly pop out of nowhere in a container of old unused rice. These inventions were made by humans. Henry Ford, Wright Brothers, Steve Jobs, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk and so many more.

What they all had in common was not the goal to destroy anything, but the goal of making something better for the world. To make something easier to use, to connect the world better, to make more people do more of what they enjoy doing. That was what they had in common: to move men forward.

They can thus be termed as disruptors, because they change the status quo. They had disrupted the normal process, routine, media of doing things. They have each made a mini-industrial revolution by their own. And definitely, they had every reason to celebrate.

However, with one disruptor succeeding, there are thousands out there who have succeeded and failed. It reminds me of a scene whereby the dead bodies of soldiers piled up so that the general can step on top and reach for the highest flag. Of course, it is not like that, most of the disruptors don’t even know one another, let alone form a coalition and work on their passions together.

There are many reasons why many failed, ranging from societal circumstances, insufficient resources, not trying hard enough, not timing the release right. There are so many variables out there, and the only thing we can control fully is yet again: OURSELVES.

To digress, who are we actually competing against?

If I were actually a few years younger, I would blame the society for making so many of us unavailable to reach our goals. I would blame on the restrictive, conservative, enter-the-rat-race-and-never-get-out-because-everyone-says-so mindset in Asia, I would blame the ego society that does not encourage people to pursue their passion but only profits. But as I grew, I realized we all have a choice, and the first step starts with educating oneself. Once we are educated and we know of the perils we are in, we will figure a way to come out.

However, to be factual, many companies hate disruptors. For the reason that companies have a profit goal, they don’t want to be disrupted indiscriminately. The status quo must continue, because only with peace and prosperity then can development and progress occur, or so they think.

Ever wondered why USA holds so many innovations that change the world these past decades, yes they have the resources, but yes they also provide an incubation bed for everyone, they do not care if you are a disruptor or a status-quo activist, they welcome you. And if you dare to give your passion a shot, you may just succeed big time there.

Companies have developed a love-and-hate relationship with disruptors. They yearn for innovation, because it bestows them the competitive advantage, but at the same time, when they interview, they only recruit people who believe in what they believe, they need people who follow instructions, to abide by the 9-to-5 law, to do things that have always been done, not changing anything. That is why only a miniscule amount of companies worldwide succeed in terms of achieving what the founders set out to do.

It is hard to get into the companies that welcome disruptors. Google, Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Tesla, or maybe Harvard, Stanford and the likes. What do you expect? They definitely need to filter the good disruptors and the pseudo-good disruptors that give up after the first ‘NO’ was shouted across the long table.

There can be a generalist or specialist disruptor. The former will mean a consultant who is specifically employed to tear down the old, inefficient practices of a company and build new ones, once she is done with a company/project, she moves on. The latter one will include striving to achieve her goal in a singular focused manner, no other things stand in her way. The latter one only happening when you are very clear with what you want in life, most possibly because of some early childhood experiences that has cemented the idea that doing that something is more important than anything else on earth.

What do I do now? I do not want to just finish my Bachelor’s degree, apply for a ton of companies, and work for whichever one that employs me on the minimum wage. That is in fact, the highway to death, the dying of the soul even before the actual physical burial or cremation. (Many can say it’s otherwise, things like you can build up your network and experience, and you need to suffer first before you can enjoy the fruits of success… Ya and then so many of them go through this until they are 60, and they are still hoping tomorrow will be different when they have all been lying to themselves.) Because successful people will never give that advice, they know that if you need to suffer before succeeding, then you suffer on your own terms, you suffer working in the company that aligns to your life values. You suffer under the boss that has this crazy idea, that in succeeding, will change the world.

I used to listen to people, people with so much experience in life than me, but I realized most of them are wrong, because they are not living my life. Because they have not even succeeded. Because their life goals were already submerged by the incessant pouring of cement to build an edifice. Because they have already been programmed to believe in the status quo.

I used to say ‘I am sorry, I cant believe in what you are saying, because I am trying to find my own path, even though I cannot see what is in front. It’s foggy, it’s uncertain.’ But nowdays, I declined to engage in conversations with them anymore, because I know if their ears are not receptive to the message, I could drill a hole in the cerebral cortex and insert the all the essential instructions of being a disruptor in and it still won’t work.

Right now, well into my 1000 books and 23 countries visited, I really want to tell you I know everything and I know what I want to do, what my passion is, and where I will go in 10 years. But very fortunately, I don’t. Because I don’t want it to be over so fast, I want to slowly unveil, discover the intricacies of life, of society, of this self I call ‘I’. Time is precious but the best thing time can be exchanged for is experiences.

I am still trying out new things every day and see where I can place my strengths the best. Every day, I ask myself questions about my strengths and weaknesses to understand myself better and become clear about what I want.

It is hard, it is super difficult. I swear I cannot see the road in front, but I have already blocked out all the roadside noise. It is foggy, I am driving slow, I am patient. But I don’t like the paved road because if I were to take this road once, why would I want to see what everyone else is seeing. I want to find my own rainforest or the cliff.

An indecipherable code or woman can mean that the code cannot be transferred to any command or cannot be understood. However, if you break down the word, just like how a disruptor will break down things, you will realize that you need to go within (that ‘IN’ word), to understand that.

The answer is within. With a code, with a woman. With anything on Earth. All the answers are within, all the religions point to this phenomenon.

What if I am not breaking things down to improve things? I will probably break down. My life is the experiment. The meaning of my life is to break down and rebuild it even better. This is what I am doing to my life and this is what I will do to the organisation I lead in the future. There is no other way around it, it is innovate or die.

What can I do?

I was born a disruptor.

What about you?

To those who never fit in and never will,

Troy

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