What happened to basic human decency?

Marc L
8 min readMay 26, 2020

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Kindness. Compassion. Being considerate and respectful toward others. These are just a few traits that I believe make up a decent human being. But over the past decade, it seems like too many people have forgotten these things. “Common courtesy” has become far too uncommon. I used to think this was mostly limited to the internet, keyboard warriors saying things to strangers or even friends that they would never say to their faces, and only occasionally spilling over into real-life confrontations.

And then we were asked to wear masks.

Keep calm and be considerate

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that some people lost their minds. But this time, it’s not just words on a screen. The actions that people take can have real-world consequences.

I keep wondering why anyone would have a problem with following the advice of the CDC and wearing a mask. And the only answer I can come up with is that people don’t like to be told what to do. But here’s the thing: you shouldn’t have to be told to be a courteous, compassionate, decent human being.

Actually, there is one valid reason for not wearing a mask: people who have a medical condition that makes it difficult or impossible for them to wear one. Whether it’s physical or mental (e.g. panic attacks), it is certainly a legitimate issue and I am empathetic to those people. But there are also accommodations and alternative solutions for those people, to protect them and the people around them. (More on this later.)

But let’s be honest, most of the people railing against mask requirements aren’t people with medical conditions. They are people who, for whatever reason, don’t want to wear a mask and are trying to use the medical condition argument as a reason why mask requirements are wrong.

This shouldn’t be a partisan thing, either. Being a good person isn’t limited to Democrats or Republicans. And there is at least one Republican governor with enough guts to say so.

Besides, if you want businesses to reopen, they need to do it safely. Wearing masks is one small concession I would hope people could make in order to help get our economy up and running. Believe it or not, it is possible to support reopening the economy AND being cautious.

Overlapping circles representing people concerned about Covid-19, the economy, and authoritarian government.
While I’m not personally too worried with “authoritarian government policies”, the point of this meme is accurate: it is possible to be concerned about all three at the same time.

I realize there are some people out there who believe the whole COVID-19 thing has been blown out of proportion, that the media has whipped us into a frenzy. They might believe that people don’t need protection from the virus. That’s fine. But the courteous thing would be to still wear a mask for the peace of mind of others. If your spouse is afraid of spiders, you wouldn’t go around hiding fake spiders all over your house, even if you think his or her fear is completely unjustified. You don’t accuse them of “living in fear.” At least not if you’re a decent human being.

If you’re right and the coronavirus isn’t a big deal, wearing a mask was just an unnecessary precaution. No harm done. But if you’re wrong, people could die.

And remember, you’re not doing this to protect yourself. You’re not really doing it to protect other shoppers, either. You’re doing it mainly to protect the store employees that come into contact with hundreds of customers every day. These employees have suddenly become essential workers, and the least we can do is try to ensure they can stay healthy as they work to keep us fed.

Let’s look at some of the other reasons against requiring masks that friends of mine recently told me.

“I have the right to live my life how I want to.”

Nobody has the right to endanger somebody else. You don’t have the right to speed or drive recklessly, or yell “fire” in a theater, or have a campfire if there is a high threat of wildfires, or spread thumbtacks across a sidewalk. I put that last one in there because I doubt there is a law the explicitly prohibits thumbtacks on a sidewalk, but rather a general law that covers any sort of potentially hazardous actions. And willfully acting in a way that could spread the Coronavirus, especially since you could be infected and not know it, is endangering other people.

“Wearing masks isn’t a law, it’s a recommendation.”

It doesn’t matter. Stores have the right to set whatever policies they want, as long as they aren’t discriminating against a protected class (e.g. race, religion, or disability). In most places, “no shirt, no shoes, no service” isn’t a law, but it is still legal for businesses to set and enforce the rule. Just like an amusement park can prohibit people who are pregnant or have other health issues from riding certain rides, for their own protection. Stores have a right to require masks to be worn for the protection of their employees, as well as other customers.

In some states, like Pennsylvania, wearing a mask is more than a recommendation, it is an Executive Order. And while EO’s aren’t passed by the state legislature like a law, they have the same legal power and enforceability. Executive Orders are necessary when rules need to be put in place quickly to protect the health of the public, especially for temporary orders that will be rescinded in a few months. Clearly some people disagree with Pennsylvania’s EO, and some may even feel Gov. Wolf overstepped his authority, but that doesn’t give you the right to violate the order. If you don’t like it, you can vote him out.

New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Maryland, Connecticut, and Hawaii also have some sort of mask requirements.

Finally, to come back to my original point, it shouldn’t take a law to force people to be considerate of others.

“Even the CDC can’t make up their mind whether masks are effective.”

In a 60 Minutes interview on March 8, 2020, Dr. Fauci said that “right now” there was no need for people to walk around wearing masks. That was back when the White House thought that 15 days would be enough to slow the spread of COVID-19 and before most of the country went into lock-down. This was also when hospitals were facing a significant shortage of masks and other PPE, and the CDC wanted to avoid having the public rush out and buy N95 masks and surgical masks.

It was also before studies showed that COVID-19 can very likely be transmitted by air.

As the COVID-19 situation evolved, obviously our response to it had to evolve as well. On April 24, the CDC began recommending that people wear face coverings specifically because of studies showing significant numbers of people infected with coronavirus that showed no symptoms.

“But masks are dangerous! I touch my face more when I wear a mask.”

Yes, when this whole thing started, I remember reading an article about why you shouldn’t wear a mask, such as touching your face to adjust your mask. But here’s the thing: coronavirus is transmitted through the mucus membranes. When doctors say “don’t touch your face,” they specifically mean your mouth, nose and eyes. Wearing a mask prevents you from directly touching two of those.

The article I saw also mentioned that the outside of the mask could become contaminated and then transfer the virus to your hands, and then to your eyes or mouth. But you are more likely to pick up the virus from door handles, shopping carts, or products that people have touched and put back on the shelf than from the surface of your mask, unless someone breathes directly on your face. The bottom line is, any time you are out shopping, you should try not to touch your eyes (whether you’re wearing a mask or not), and then wash or sanitize your hands before removing your mask — or after, if you are really concerned with the outside of your mask being contaminated.

“If you don’t like it, shop somewhere else.”

So let me get this straight. Since you don’t want to be inconvenienced by wearing a mask, you think I should shop somewhere else? But if I suggest that you use grocery pick-up options if you don’t want to wear a mask, you say I’m infringing on your rights?

And if people are refusing to wear masks equally at all stores, how is shopping somewhere else going to be any different?

“Why are your rights more important than mine?”

That one’s easy: my rights aren’t endangering other people. Which means your rights aren’t actually rights at all, because nobody has the right to endanger other people.

“But what about the rights of people with medical conditions?”

According to this article, people with medical conditions are exempt from mask requirements. Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Connecticut’s mask orders explicitly state that customers don’t even have to provide proof of their medical condition. (It is unclear if someone would need to provide documentation in other states.)

It is possible that some store managers aren’t aware of the exemption for medical conditions. In that case, the polite thing would be to calmly explain the situation. The manager may be accommodating, or they may suggest an alternative such as grocery pick-up options or even doing your shopping for you. If one of those options won’t work for you and you really need to go into the store yourself, you could try showing the manager a copy of the orders linked above, since they should grant you an exception. But if you are belligerent, the manager will probably assume that you are just trying to use it as an excuse not to wear a mask. Have you ever heard the expression “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Try asking nicely and you’ll be surprised what people will do for you, because there really are a lot of decent human beings left in this world.

But even if you do have a medical condition and are allowed into a store, is that really the best option? If you can’t wear a mask, wouldn’t it be safer for you, and for the employees and other customers, if you used grocery pick-up or asked a friend to pick up some things for you?

What if you aren’t allowed in a store where there is no state-wide mask requirement, just a store policy? Aren’t stores required to provide accommodations for health conditions? Maybe. I’m not a lawyer, so I won’t provide legal advice. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) says that accommodations must be provided to people with disabilities, which may or may not cover all medical conditions. But that doesn’t mean unrestricted access. It only means that a reasonable accommodation, such as grocery pick-up, must be offered. Accommodations might not always be convenient or exactly what you would like, they just have to be reasonable. For example, restaurants don’t have to have braille menus if a waiter can read the menu to a blind customer instead.

About the only thing I can think of where this would really be an issue is getting a haircut. Yes, I understand that this is becoming pretty dire for many people after two months. In that case, I would suggest talking to your favorite salon to see if they are comfortable cutting your hair if you aren’t wearing a mask, and if you can get an appointment when there aren’t any other customers in the salon. Because asking nicely is the courteous thing to do, and will probably get you a courteous response.

This is a trying time for everyone. What many people thought would be 30 days has now extended past 60 in most parts of the country. Obviously we can’t keep things closed forever. But as we reopen our businesses, it will be more important than ever to take precautions, including washing your hands, practicing social distancing, wearing a mask, and above all else, being a decent human being.

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