Drifting

i see myself from above,

legs spread wide across the carpet

belly big, holding a gift, a tiny

heart beat reminds me to breathe,

for her. everything for her.

i’m adrift in a bedroom, might as well be the open sea

surrounded by waves of boxes, filling them with heart …

break. crash upon my shores, salt stings the eyes.

crack open what’s left, tiny particles of sand, soul, washed away.

alt-J plays on repeat, riding ebb and flow of beats and hypnotic voice like the tide,

But even the tide can’t wash away the darkness.

i’m adrift,

drifting.

waiting for her to arrive and wondering if the fog, the blanket of darkness, will ever lift.

dutiful because I must. for her. everything for her.

her and i. me and her. we are out to sea and he is somewhere far ashore.