now I see why you said love avoidant. Maybe that can go back in your bio. For you clearly have come to pit yourself at odds with “commitment”, with being “bound.” And one of the things love does, Kris, is it “binds”. For example, the meaning in the words we write stand up or fizzle significantly related to the ways our “promises” have or have not been kept. One thing a promise of “staying” does for someone is it says you can let your guard down, you can trust yourself to me, I am not going anywhere. It’s not the same as promising you will never die. But it is the same as promising you will never leave. Do people get bound together and feel torment because they want out? Yes. But that doesn’t mean the solution was based on a problem of wrong pairing or commitment. It usually runs much more selfish than all of that. Selfish on both sides. If we can not make promises, and more importantly don’t obligate ourselves to keep the ones we make/made, what good is our story-telling, our word, our trustworthiness?
I am a failure at much of the above, but it doesn’t mean the goal of promises, bonds and enduring loves are failures.