Firstly, as a feminist, I find it incredibly interesting to examine the synonyms for altruism and compare them with those for selfishness.
Am I A Selfish Bitch or Are You Just A Controlling Gaslighter?
Francesca Lewis

What follows are precisely the sorts of interpretations of concepts that make feminism such a lopsided way of thinking. By being so myopically focused on the “female” experience, feminism supposes that the male experience must be diametrically opposed to it. Where women have expectations, men must have none.

Thus, feminists fail to see the myriad ways that men are directed socially and legally toward self sacrifice and self denial, often in the name of feminist ideals.

Men are expected to be the “bread winners” of the family, even in dual income families. As such, men are expected to hold lucrative jobs leaving women free to pursue meaningful careers.

Men are expected to be supportive of women’s decisions, meaning they are not to challenge them, but still provide a backstop if said choices don’t pan out.

Men are expected — especially by feminists — to stand ready to defend women against anything from catcalls to rape, as if the former were necessary or the latter were feasible.

Admittedly, if a man fails to live up to his expectations, he probably won’t be called “selfish.” More likely he will be called a loser, a deadbeat, a misogynist, or even a criminal.

I am, of course, being generous in assuming that feminists are blind to the obligations society places on men. I can just as easily offer that feminists are mindfully denying their reality of men’s obligations in order to influence men’s behavior to their own benefit. In other words, collective gaslighting.