Having a conversation with my future self, now.

The dangers and joys of having that long overdue conversation with yourself.

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Long, burdensome conversations I have been engaging in with myself. Lately… Who am I kidding. I’ve always been the thinker. Some in my family call me an over-thinker. If that is even a word. I am always stuck in my head. Judging, attempting to make sense of others, of myself and of life.

See, many people are too afraid to look deep within and unearth. Partly, I cannot blame them for avoiding it. I end up having headaches after these talks with myself. Serious. Perhaps I am driving myself to insanity.

These are the times I have learnt to come outside of my shell. Times when I have analysed past actions and identified my shortcomings. I have become less self absorbed, but pushed by the greater good and reason.

For I have not looked away. I have not brushed my dirt and shortcomings under the carpet. I take stock, most of the times, of who and what I am. Consistently. Readjust where I deem it necessary, stay on course when I have not seen any vices. It has also allowed me to gauge if my current purpose speaks to me and the universe.

There is this uneducated notion that our purposes are finite. My purpose evolves with time and with effort. It would be inefficient of the universe to blanket you with one purpose, regardless of age and experience.

Talking to yourself gives you perspective. It gives you an honest answer to the quintessential question: Who am I?

Seek this answer not when you are happy and relaxed only. Test it when things are not going your way. For then it will be crystal clear whether it is the calling or your imagination being happy and painting everything gold.

Should my ancestors allow, the current me will seem like a necessary step. We cannot grow without growing.

My mistakes and reorientation, help inform the future me of the path. A barometer to see if I am still on track. Or if I should begin anew.

It is not an easy conversation. Think of it as the talk you will have to your parents about your debt, about why you moved out, about how come you do not talk to your rude cousin anymore. It is a talk that cannot be avoided. For then it will ensure you are on the incorrect trajectory.

You cannot fix what you don’t measure. You cannot navigate without having sight of the destination.

So, are you talking to yourself daily? If not, someone else will. Their talk is not the one you would think it is, their talk is a lecture.

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” – Frederick Douglass