Embrace Your Inner “Nobody” — Break Up With Your Inner Critic Once and For All
I am a 34 time award-winning, internationally bestselling author, an intuitive expert and worked for 10+ years with a global media mogul, only to discover after being asked to deliver the commencement speech at my alma mater, that I am a “nobody.”
Best part is, this illuminating self-discovery has made me feel happier and more powerful than all my accomplishments combined.
On May 21, 2017, I delivered the commencement speech at Baker University. I must admit, I was terrified to deliver my message. After all, how many people acknowledge to themselves, let alone to a packed auditorium of friends, graduates and family members, that they are “nobody,”
As one friend so kindly put it, “No one gets up and proclaims that they are nobody at a graduation speech.”
Well, I did.
“Good afternoon everyone I’m so honored to be here and I first off want to thank President Lynne Murray for asking me to give the commencement speech today.
I also want to thank Bruce Woodruff for delivering the invitation. You have impeccable timing, Bruce.
To be honest, after the shock wore off in hearing that I was invited to give this year’s commencement speech, my next thought was probably something close to what you’re thinking right now: “Who on earth is this woman? And why is she giving a commencement speech?”
Guess what? I am nobody. And for that reason alone am probably one of the most qualified people to deliver the message I’m about to deliver to you today.
I could throw a bunch of names around, spout a bunch of sales figures and act like I am “somebody.” But, I’m here, so let me just say, my gift to you today isn’t about who other people think you are, it is about who you know you are and being so comfortable in that knowledge that you can do exactly what you were meant to do while you’re here on earth.
Remember this: When there is absolutely nothing to prove, a relative “nobody” can change the world.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying discount yourself or think less of yourself. But what I have found, is the more you try to prove to someone that you’re somebody the more off course you go. And really, everyone wants to take the most direct route to success, right?
A few weeks ago, I met a young student at the UCLA Film School. He was in the midst of finals, had multiple projects due and we chatted about writer’s block cures, when the conversation took a turn.
“What,” he asked, “did you do when you felt desperate?”
I so appreciate these moments in life as the question was as much for me as it was for him so I said, “Desperation never goes away. You just get better, over time, with handling it.”
So, what really happens when you’re desperate is that you become overwhelmed by unknown and unseen forces. The pressure increases as a deadline looms and the “unknowns” increase along with your anxiety.
And that’s about the time when most people begin to pray, as faith and trust play a big part in the intangible. Because really, what else is there to do? When all action fails, it’s time to count on your faith and intuition.
So much of what you cannot see makes up the bulk of your progress and learning. What you focus on you get. In other words, if you have a recurring thought, it is going to come true. One story perfectly illustrates how powerful thoughts are in creating reality. I call it the cabbage story.
A few years ago, I was having some health challenges and had tried traditional medicine which didn’t work, so I turned to alternative healing.
After a thorough visit and examination, the woman gave me a protocol of herbs and homeopathic tinctures. As an afterthought, she mentioned that for my particular issue raw cabbage was a very powerful curative.
Well, the first thing I did after the visit was to run to the supermarket and get a quarter cut of a whole head of cabbage and then I went about my daily errands.
Anxious to experience the effects of this powerful curative, I decided to break out the cabbage as I was driving. Now this is the important part, because as I was pulling this enormous hunk of cabbage out of the bag and as I was unwrapping it, I kept thinking to myself “please nobody see me, please nobody see me eating this cabbage.” I even imagined how embarrassing it would be if somebody actually looked over and saw me eating a quarter head of raw cabbage in my car. But, despite my concerns, I stopped at a stop light grabbed the cabbage and took a huge bite and munched away. It actually wasn’t bad tasting and I took another bite and crunched happily imagining all the health benefits my fabulous curative was bestowing upon me at the red light. Suddenly, I sensed someone looking at me and much to my horror, there, next to me was a man in a pick up truck looking me dead in the eyes and he was incredulous, “is that cabbage? Are you eating cabbage?”
At this point, my mouth was still full of the raw goodness and I was holding a quarter head of cabbage in my hand. So, there was no denying it.
Remember my story the next time you have a recurring thought. That thought could easily become a reality. Remember the cabbage.
Here are a few more things to remember as you navigate your way toward success:
- Be proud of your mistakes. Own them in a way that gives you power, then move on.
- Don’t judge people on salary and status. At the top of my game I was making six figures and working for a global media influencer. There were also times where I counted pennies. Wherever you are it will not last, trust me. Enjoy every moment of your success and know that your failures are not permanent.
- Don’t gossip. What goes around comes around.
- Every day do one thing that terrifies you. In the morning ask yourself what you are most afraid of and then set about doing something to overcome that fear. Resist the urge to move away from things that scare you. In fact, use your fear as a barometer for your progress. If it doesn’t scare you question whether or not it’s even worth your effort.
- Ask for help and trust your guidance. Every situation requires support and it’s up to you to figure out whether that support comes from outside yourself or from within. Do not ever let other people project their limitations on to you.
- We are all going through desperate times, be compassionate and kind in all circumstances.
- Vulnerability brings breakthroughs. So, if you are struggling, go into vulnerability and you will find your answer.
- Every once in a while talk with someone who is completely different in some way from you. Maybe they’re a different religion, a different race or a different sexual orientation and have a conversation with them don’t take anything personally and listen. Listen carefully to what someone who is different from you says. Speak your truth and listen carefully to theirs.
- Feel confident in your abilities and continually assess your current situation in your life. Never let someone question your magic. Everyone has it. There is a special essence to what each of us brings to our existence. If someone ever questions your magic consider it a reflection of their limitation not yours.
- Lastly, think for yourself. No matter what your political, religious or cultural belief system, consider what is being presented to you and ask yourself, “Does this sound/feel/seem right to me?” You don’t have to sign on for an entire lifetime, just to belong.
Thank you so much and congratulations!”