Getting To The End of A Page

What if I were satisfied with my present job…my present weight…my present apartment…my present life?

Would I be able to move onto something that I think would make me happier or offer more contentment? What does the road from satisfied to happier and more contentment look like for me? Could I make the trip?

What I mean is this…I feed off of discontent…and the bigger the life change the more discontent I seem to need as a motivator. Hence, if I’m just a bit unhappy…a little bit uncomfortable…or worse satisfied…I could sit and stew in a tepid pot of the blah’s for years.

This is where I’ve figured out my old idea of God plays a role. A feature of my old idea of what a God or Higher Power involved practicality. Meaning, if you had a job, a home, and food to eat, it would be just glutenous (ergo, “sinful”) to ask for more. My old god concept wasn’t one that provided much beyond fulfillment. As I was reminded by the words “all those starving kids in Africa…would be glad to (fill-in-the-blank)”

For far too long, I labored under beliefs that I formed before I was old enough to shave. And, I often don’t realize I’m laboring under an outmoded set of beliefs until someone else brings it to my attention by telling me a story of why they can’t do something…or having something…or change something. It’s when I’m giving them the reasons why they can do something different...change whatever they choose…or have whatever they want…that I get that message myself.

That’s all…just getting to the end of a page tonight.