Thoughts On It Being Different

I thought it would be different. I don’t know exactly like what…but different. You know…not this.

I didn’t think he’d laugh like that. Well, I guess…nothing is wrong with the way he laughs…I guess??? I just didn’t expect it to sound like that.

Well, it’s not that I don’t like blondes. I was just expecting a brunette…or a redhead…or bald…you know the kind of bald where you don’t know what color hair someone may have one had…you get that, right? Yeah, I just thought your hair would be a different color...or, none at all.

Well, I didn’t expect it to be so hot. I mean I know it’s the desert but it’s called Palm Springs…so I guess, I just had expectations that it would be different. “Yes, of course I remember you telling me we were going to the desert”…I just thought it would be something else.

Well, when I saw it on television, they were always in court…either sitting on a bench or marching before a jury making their case. I never thought it would be in a dark office building reading through mounds of paper and making comments. This isn’t what I expected.

It’s just that while you do look like your profile picture and you did provide you correct age…and by the way, “Thank YOU” for that…I just didn’t expect your voice to sound…so…so…lithe…light…I mean…not to be so not masc 4 masc…FEMININE, is what comes to mind. I…just didn’t expect that.

Yes, I know I ordered it…and YES…it does look like the picture online…but I just thought the miniature figurine…would be a bit larger. NO, I’m not an idiot, SIR…I know miniature means small…and NO, I’m not challenging your integrity…it does live up to all of the promises you wrote in the ad..It’s just that…well…I was just expecting something else.

Yeah, I know we all have our “crosses to carry”…and yes, while I do have, good health, all of my faculties, a successful career, loving parents…well, at least not hateful, fucked up, parents…it helps that they’re dead….and, YES…I do lived in the “developed” world…and, just a fucking…yada..yada…yada…litany of other cash and frigging prizes…But, DEAR GOD, I thought it would be different.

“Yes, different”

“I, don’t know exactly…isn’t that your job”

“Yes, it’s your job to be ALL KNOWING…and ALL SEEING.. YOU setup this whole gig after all”

“No, not the gig I’m working right now…I set that up”

“No, not where I live…I set that up”

“No, not my college…I set that up”

“No, not my love life…I set that up”

“Well, not my career…I set that up”

“No, not my choice to not take those opportunities…I did that”

“You know what I’m talking about…all the OTHER stuff…the OTHER stuff”

“Look, if you’re going to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about…then I’m going to have to just do it all by myself….

“EXACTLY, just like I’VE BEEN DOING”…just like…i’ve….been…doing”

Wait…I’ve been doing…I HAVE BEEN DOING…

“Whatever…I just expected it to be different”

“MAYBE LET ME DO THIS…AND IT WILL BE DIFFERENT”, said his HP.