Navigating the Emotional Intelligence Gap: From an Emotionally Aware Workplace to an Emotionally Distant One

Tali Thomason
4 min readJun 8, 2024

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Transitioning from a workplace that values and practices high emotional intelligence to one where emotional intelligence is lacking can be a jarring experience. Emotional intelligence (EI), the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others, is a crucial element of a healthy and productive work environment. When this is absent, the challenges can be multifaceted and significant.

The High-EI Workplace: A Haven of Understanding and Collaboration

In a workplace with high emotional intelligence, several vital characteristics often stand out:

  1. Effective Communication: Team members communicate openly and honestly, emphasizing understanding and empathy.
  2. Strong Relationships: There is a foundation of trust and respect, leading to stronger interpersonal relationships.
  3. Conflict Resolution: Disputes are handled constructively, emphasizing finding mutually beneficial solutions.
  4. Supportive Environment: Employees feel valued and supported, contributing to higher job satisfaction and morale.
  5. Collaborative Culture: Teamwork is encouraged, and diverse perspectives are appreciated.

These elements create an environment where employees can thrive, innovate, and feel a sense of belonging.

The Low-EI Workplace: A Landscape of Challenges

The differences can be stark and unsettling when moving to a workplace where emotional intelligence is not prioritized. Here are some common issues one might face:

  1. Poor Communication: Conversations may be more transactional and less empathetic, leading to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation.
  2. Weak Relationships: Lack of trust and respect can result in superficial connections and reduced collaboration.
  3. Ineffective Conflict Management: Conflicts may be ignored or poorly managed, causing unresolved tensions and a toxic work environment.
  4. Unsupportive Culture: Employees may feel undervalued and unsupported, leading to decreased motivation and higher turnover rates.
  5. Siloed Teams: Without a culture of collaboration, teams may work in silos, stifling innovation and efficiency.

The Emotional Toll and Adaptation

Adjusting to a low-EI workplace can take a significant emotional toll. Feelings of frustration, isolation, and disillusionment are common as one grapples with the new environment. Here are some strategies to cope and adapt, including incorporating tools from outside of work:

  1. Self-Awareness: Stay attuned to your own emotions and recognize the impact the new environment is having on you. This awareness can help you manage stress and maintain your well-being.
  2. Set Boundaries: Protect your emotional health by setting boundaries. Know when to step back and take time for self-care.
  3. Find Allies: Seek out colleagues who share a similar perspective on the importance of emotional intelligence. Building a support network can provide much-needed camaraderie.
  4. Lead by Example: Demonstrate emotional intelligence in your interactions. Sometimes, your behavior can influence others and gradually foster a more emotionally aware culture.
  5. Professional Development: Consider advocating for training programs that focus on developing emotional intelligence within the organization. This can be a step towards creating a more supportive work environment.

Incorporating Tools from Outside of Work

To help bridge the gap, incorporating tools and practices from outside the workplace can be beneficial:

  1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Apps like Headspace or Calm can help you manage stress and stay centered. Regular mindfulness practice can improve your emotional regulation and resilience.
  2. Books and Podcasts: Reading books like “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman or listening to podcasts such as Brené Brown’s “Unlocking Us” can provide insights and strategies for enhancing emotional intelligence.
  3. Therapy and Counseling: Seeking support from a therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies for dealing with a low-EI environment.
  4. Workshops and Online Courses: Enroll in seminars or online courses focused on emotional intelligence and leadership skills. Websites like Coursera and LinkedIn Learning offer valuable resources.
  5. Journaling: Keeping a journal to reflect on your daily experiences and emotions can help you better process and understand your feelings.

Finding Balance and Moving Forward

While the transition to a low-EI workplace is undeniably challenging, it can also be an opportunity for growth. Navigating and influencing a different work culture can enhance your adaptability and leadership skills. However, it’s essential to continuously assess whether the environment aligns with your values and career goals. If the gap in emotional intelligence proves too broad and detrimental to your well-being, consider a move to a workplace that better matches your needs.

Ultimately, the journey from a high-EI to a low-EI workplace is a testament to emotional intelligence’s profound impact on our professional lives. It underscores the importance of fostering environments where empathy, communication, and support are integral, not optional. As more organizations recognize the value of emotional intelligence, the hope is that such transitions will become less frequent and workplaces everywhere will become havens of emotional awareness and mutual respect.

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Tali Thomason
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A woman of a certain age with a few things to say.