Art Comes- From Joy & Pain
Somedays are just tough. We still got to carry on, as artists.
#112 Days to Toronto Fringe 2024: Takes Two 2 Mango @ Theatre Passe Muraille
As I reel back from a bad insomniac night, some panic roller coaster and a burnt out body, I think to myself- somedays are bound to be tough as artists.
So, how do we still carry on as artists, during such days?
Artists get burnt out and feel empty for many reasons. I can only state the list as per me.
Welcome to Two.2.Mango’s journal as we get show ready @Theatre Passe Muraille with “Colonial Circus”, Toronto Fringe, July 2024.
Back to back shows, that I give my 100% to. And yet, some ‘after-show’ feels are good, some not so good.
Some show ideas that I am working towards, is not shaping up the way it plays in my head. Something is amiss and I can’t put a finger on it. It’s frustrating.
Some shows that I was looking forward to perform at, get cancelled. Reasons could be anything from- Not enough tickets sold, to….
No.
The reason for a show cancellation is always- not enough tickets sold. The producer is not playing a power game here, they just can’t sustain paying rent, artist fee etc., with a handful of tickets sold. So, the show gets canceled. It’s cruel, it’s unfair but it is the only truth.
Almost always.
So, how do artists still carry on, when nothing is going their way?
As an artist, I carry memories of my past experiences with me and I feel strongly about certain topics. I absorb things happening around me. It makes me a ‘sensitive’ person and I like that side of me. This same side of me, also gives me heart aches and anxiety.
So when such days come, I sit with these emotions, acknowledge them, often caress them, and still create art. As if no one is watching me.
Because an artform is created, first for self, an audience later.
Sure it hurts to perform to an empty theatre, or to those 5 silhouettes who came to watch you, out of pity, or complimentary tickets or because they had nothing better to do.
But such days will always come. From houseful to a handful.
But the artist must keep going.
Art is for me first…
Everythign else is secondary…
-Shreya
