Sit down, be humble.

What living in a country where you don’t speak the language can teach you.

Moving to Germany is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life.

Although most of the people think it's something one might not even give a second thought ("it's Europe, just GO!!"), it took me a while to finally feel ready for this: to leave my family, a beautiful and warm (so warm I miss it already) country and, specially, to hit pause in my career.

The constant fear of being "wasting time" is the perfect millennial stereotype: to be so eager to be successful before 30 and risking to miss the whole experience in between.

I kinda had to suck it up and make a decision that involved every aspect of my life and was not an easy one.

It’s a struggle. But it load gets lighter when you have your goal very clear in your mind. I always had.

I was in a moment of my life in which I was so sure about so many things. I was comfortable and that is a very dangerous - and boring - place to be.

Now, I struggle or feel insecure to order a meal at a restaurant, I'm not always sure if this is "der, die oder das", and I really have to count on others to speak a little slower and understand that I just got about 30% of what they just said.

To be in a foreign country is a lesson on how to be more humble every day. Is a need to acknowledge that you need help and to rely on people in order to get what you want.

To be in a foreign country and not know the language is a whole other level of insecurity, despair and struggle. It's this constant feeling of not belonging and that you can express yourself - sometimes, AT ALL.

Specially in Germany, once German is a language most of the people fear.

"It's too hard"
"Look at the size of these words"
"Germans always sound like they are mad at you"

I used to believe this, until I started studying 3 years ago.

I'm not gonna lie: I felt like an absolute idiot for the first - let's say - MONTH.
The feeling of being in a classroom and not understanding a word the teacher is telling you is absolutely horrifying.

You kind of just go with the flow. Try to get a clue from the hand gestures, or from what the other people are doing and sometimes you just close your eyes and hope to be teletransported or invisible.

I really HATE the feeling of not knowing what I'm doing or what people are talking about. I hate even more to don't be able to express myself.

I think that's why I've always had the instinct of researching, studying or at least be interested in an explanation - doesn't matter on which subject. But it's a totally different feeling to don't understand programming and to have someone telling you and staring at you waiting for an answer on something you didn't even begin to understand.

It. Was. horrible.

Until it wasn't.

One day, I realized I knew exactly what to do in class. I knew what to say. I knew all the answers at the test. I could have a real conversation. People could understand me. I could understand people. At least a little bit.

Now that I'm back in school I look back and see the progress I've made since the last time and feel really proud of myself. For a person who has low self esteem and Impostor Syndrome that's quite a victory.
The sense of accomplishment is so rewarding.

I wonder if that's how confident people feel every day.

Must be awesome.

So, in a way, being here taught me to be more humble, patient and at the same time I fell like an idiot I also gained more confidence in myself.

Of course I still have a really — really, really — long way to go but, hey, we all have.

Don’t we?