While sitting in the public library and writing this content, I heard a child screaming. His father tried to convince him that it was time to leave, but he didn’t want to go home. So, the little boy began jumping up and down, screaming even louder.
The father crouched down and gently drew the boy into his arms.
"Take a deep breath," the father said.
The boy, obviously not new to this, half-heartedly complied. His scream instantly subsided into a whimper.
"Good boy," the father said. "Let’s get that book you signed out."
And just like nothing happened, the boy put on his coat and left with his father, walking hand in hand.
The timing of this interaction couldn't have been more serendipitous.
You can’t teach what you don’t know
I wish all fathers taught this simple yet effective technique to their children. I wish someone taught the technique to me when I was a little boy, but it wasn’t common knowledge back then. As a result, my lack of impulse control caused my family and me many problems, including divorce and bankruptcy.
These were entirely preventable calamities had I known and used the simple techniques that comprise Tuduka, a method I created to control my stress-eating and impulse buying (yes, I was a train wreck).
What does the word “Tuduka” mean?
The name “Tuduka” is a portmanteau of To-do, a simple list of tasks to accomplish, and Dukkha, a Buddhist term that means “suffering” but more specifically "unsatisfactoriness”. The root cause is always a form of craving and attachment.
In the Tuduka Method, we’ll be viewing the concept dukkha from a secular (not religious) perspective, and using the word dukkha interchangeably with other terms such as "stress", "suffering" and "temptation", among others.
We all suffer in some way or other, even if it is just a minor unsatisfactoriness — the experience of not getting what we want, getting what we don’t want or being parted from what we hold dear to our hearts. These things are all a part of life and have always been so. All these things are dukkha.
How does the Tuduka Method work?
When experiencing cravings, aversion, annoyance, or any other form of dukkha, it can be difficult to think clearly and make good decisions. Your mind may feel foggy and overwhelmed, and you’ll likely default to your usual self-destructive habits. In these situations, having the Tuduka to-do booklet pre-filled with self-control techniques can help you respond more skillfully to your stresses, and with time and practice eventually irradicate your self-destructive habits.
Discover how Tuduka can change everything
The abovementioned little boy regained self-control over the emotional-related impulsivity. His father helped him, despite the intensity of the boy's feelings.
If you're ready to take control of your urges and impulses and start designing an addiction-free life, start here and subscribe to Tuduka. Also be sure to download the Tuduka printable pdf todo.
About the Author
Jason S. Comely is an interdisciplinary artist and author of several books. He is the creator of the self-help game Rejection Therapy, Cool Continuum, and Critical Stimulus. A proud father of three daughters, Jason describes himself as a Level 1 Outsider on the Cool Continuum.
Explore more at jasoncomely.com. For inquiries or conversation, he can be reached at jason at tuduka.com.
