The sketch is great.

Now about your hypothesis statement. There are some wording choices that might charge this up. For example, I think that stating a hypothesis as a matter of belief is problematic; it’s not really a belief — it’s a proposition. I think you want to establish your claim. The passive voice “will be achieved” is also distracting; better to locate agency explicitly. And . . . “successfully” is unecessary. In short, a tighter template might be something like the following:

We claim that when <personae> <active verbal> with <this feature>, then <we achieve this business outcome>.

(I’d go so far as to say that “we benefit from this business outcome,” since “achieve” doesn’t show the positive value of the outcome.) Example:

We claim that when Tom buys a supply contract item with our Optimum Bid Calculator, then we’ll achieve a higher subscription rate.

If you support your claim with evidence, then you can drop “we claim that” and add to the end: “because <evidence>.” E.g.,

When a customer like Tom buys a supply contract item with our Optimum Bid Calculator, we achieve a higher subscription rate because the calculator leads to purchases, putting people like Tom on our subscription list.

The “We claim that when . . . then” also sets up your hypothesis as an “if/then” statement, which has a logical appeal.

You probably put the business outcome first because you want it to be the subject of the sentence. But the hypothesis statement is so brief, you don’t really have to do that.