I agree that a decision to stay at home to raise children is one that tends to be undervalued, but i think you’re way off on your criticisms. You rightly point out that the feminist movement pushed for greater female involvement in the workplace while failing to simultaneously value the unpaid work women were doing. Presumably before that, if adhering to patriarchal notions, in general men valued women’s contributions in the home environment more than their contributions in the workforce. Women’s value at home wasn’t ignored, it was considered essential. It was women who stood up and said that the situation wasn’t good enough, that women needed to enter and be fairly represented in the workplace instead of relegated to the home. Rightly so. However, THAT notion was the genesis for the devaluing of home work. It surely wasn’t men who began shaming women in traditional feminine roles, that’s exactly where they wanted them!

“And where, I wonder, did this shaming of femininity come from?

Men who are turned on by it.”

It’s hard for me to think this was written with a straight face. The shaming of femininity was carried out by feminism. Feminism decried the notion that women were objects to be possessed by men, that women were ends in and of themselves, rather than a means to an end (home life, sex etc…). Femininity was shamed as a way of women subjugating themselves, of turning themselves into items whose value was determined by their ability to catch the interest of a man. If patriarchy exists, and men in general are part of a systematic sexism intended to keep women second class, then feminine women is EXACTLY what men want. They want women to continue to be objects, not legitimate competition for them in the workplace.

“Feminism has done a lot to undo the social stigma of being a woman, but it’s not until very recently that we’ve started to undo the stigma behind expressing femininity”

Again, i contend that feminism is the source of the stigma behind expressing femininity in the first place, not the bulwark against it.

“Is this shaming of femininity a societal expression straight male shame about their own sexuality?”

No, its more about the idea pushed by feminists (perhaps not feminism itself, but its proponents surely) that feminism means getting women out of the kitchen and into higher positions in the workforce, rather than feminism meaning simply equal access and rights regardless of gender. One of those ideas gives women the right to make any choice they see fit without pressure, the other demonizes them for not choosing properly. Feminists have shamed femininity in women.