5 October Tension / 9 October Space / 11 October Drifting / 16 October Perspective / 17 October Game Playing / 29 October Purpose

5 October/Tension

K. has returned to the house and tension has risen. My greatest fear is deprivation of being excluded from my fair share. I hate the necessity of being right accurate the fear of being judged. Under it all is a real problem. I need a quiet space for the art course. D. is OK because she is artistic. KC. and K. are social and disruptive on those around them.

9 October/Space

The end of the first week of art college. The exercises on the first day were to draw a model as part of his surroundings through the placing of the model in space. The second day the task was eye-size drawing — the relationship between objects and their position in space. Not decorative or life-like but representational. The room is a box — the space before and the space beyond. The position of the viewer determines the amount of space seen but in a picture the amount of space represented determines the vision of the viewer. The more complex the representation of space the more complex the task of the viewer. The camera is the perfect transfer of 3-D to 2-D space — the position and size of the objects is transferred to the page. The particular approach you choose is a question of choice — more floor more ceiling — as is the dramatization or distortion of perspective.

11 October /Drifting

A more complicated week at college when I lost my sense of direction and will to make sense of the program. Thursday was devoted to the task of representing objects from within (without contour or shading) and their relationship to other objects — like pieces of string used by Henry Moore and Barbara Hepworth — the most successful resembled computer graphics as lines or waves moving between objects. Friday began by drawing three objects life-size in a reflected mirror on paper and then letting the drawing expand by letting the eye continue across and up and back but retaining the same eye-level and relation between the objects. The homework is to draw a chair, so it has solidity. Mine last week was stiff. Vary the quality of the line abstract the structure of objects without narrative creeping in exaggerate the perspective mark tonal variations i.e., the musical element. Mark contrast of tempo and feeling moments of tranquility and moments of passion.

16 October / Perspective

Perspective at college. Preconception of the size of objects is not a guide to relative size from a particular point of view — i.e., pictures in perspective are based primarily on transformation from viewer-centered descriptions while pictures in the parallel system are based primarily on transformation from object-centered descriptions. In the primary geometry of orthographic projection, the projection rays intersect the picture plane at right angles in both the horizontal and vertical direction. Since there is no sense of depth you need to show three views — plan side and front. Orthographic perspective is projecting the image flat onto the picture surface. Perspectival distortion creates confusion between a square in perspective and a rectangle in perspective possible. But where do you select your horizon line? Standing-up or sitting. How much foreground do you want? How pronounced a perspective do you want? Horizon line is the vanishing point — i.e., the point where a moving dot vanishes.

17 October / Game Playing

Today was drawing a model walking around the room. Use the room as a means of positioning the model in space to create movement without making it appear like prisoners in a courtyard. Bauhaus type exercises. Drawing the face of a person by touch without looking at them or knowing who they are a weird sensation where the bird-like fragility of the face of an old person seems to be young. Draw a model by closing your eyes after looking at the pose or the model poses for a few seconds, and you then draw the model from memory. No direct transcription onto paper unlike photography and Meyerbridge’s images of horses. The drawn object is given by some-one else in secret. Use soap wrapped in paper. Draw each other’s portrait. My portrait was immature and I panicked as it was weak compared to the others.

29 October/ Purpose

Breathe deeply. Material planning is not the answer. A house in the country. As in drawing proceed from the inside to the outside. I need comrades of soul and to achieve that I need objectives and a sense of purpose that is arbitrarily defined or like flotsam all will pass by. Work three days a week with Art as the centerpiece — a collective effort. Create an environment for an artistic community. Space is critical as is finances. Relatively close to London would be ideal. How am I going to meet a soul mate? It was no doubt an error to leave the Commune. The real reason was self-insufficiency (thus a feeling of failure) rather than dissent. On the contrary I was fully in favour. It was a cop-out a sign of weakness. Davon muss Man lernen. My objective is a location that is well-situated. Multiple occupation must be possible so costs can be off-set and located near a site of natural beauty. Self-education is the principal goal — i.e., individual humility. Steps to be taken. Find a woman willing to have children and flexible as regards education.

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Robert Carruthers

Robert Carruthers

An interest in the intersection of culture and sexuality led to living with artists in communities across Europe. The journal entries are to provoke reflection.