Where did we lose ourselves?
The days are long but the years are short
The smothering comfort of our childhood turned the days into years, and melted away our dreams for the outside world. We were wedged somewhere in between wanting and inaction. I recognize that feeling now — the feeling you get when you’re holding your breath for the future.
Living in our home country was our long distance relationship. The anticipation of the life we were going to build, in the place of our choice (somewhere away from here), with our special person (I thought of no one but you). For that, returning to this system was all worth it.
But there is a reason it is called a system; it works without change, it continues forever. I was crippled waiting for a signal to start my life with you. We lay on our backs for so long drifting farther from our dreams, and farther from each other, despite staying in the same place.
“There is no right time”, you told me. You always said the wisest things without trying. There will be no clear green light. Go now, pursue your dreams today — they will not say.
The journey starts when we want it to, and continues for the rest of our lives. No stories could prepare us for how treacherous it could be, and how much pain we would feel. And while we struggle, and flail, and gasp, and cry (me), I still stubbornly believe that we are stronger together swimming against the current.
In the darkest of times each long day, we will look up to the shore and see our everlasting silhouettes side by side. And across the fleeting years, it will be enough just to remember the warmth of your hand.
