Facing my feelings after the Town Hall.

My feelings after the Town Hall last Sunday between Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton — were admittedly all over the map. I felt bad after seeing the 10/9 Town Hall Debate . Normally, debates for me are positive things. I admire the candidates, and listen to them, and I revel in hearing both sides of an argument and being given the chance as a voter to be included, to participate. Debates for me, are part of my decision process. I like them.

Not this one. I felt somehow wrong for being there. I felt degraded. It was a strange feeling. I was a big fan of Bernie Sanders (and still am) and always looked forward to the debates — I found that Bernie could teach me something, and I was happy to learn. Slowly, I warmed to Hillary and learned that a non-Bernie style does not mean that she is not actually running on the most progressive platform in history. She was the first fighter for Healthcare Reform, and she really does have alot of relevant and strong experience for the job of being President. Actually, more than anyone I know. I cheer her when she says that America wants to be a clean energy superpower, or that we will upgrade healthcare reform (something that is crucial to my home, my family, and myself).

But again, I felt after seeing Hillary and Donald on stage that I was somehow dirty. Soiled. It felt wrong. And I could not for the life of me figure out why. Hillary, it seemed, held herself together very well.

But Donald Trump was menacing. Glaring at her. Following her around the stage and standing behind her, looming over her.

That was one of the first things I really noticed. And then suddenly, the day after .. I understood my feelings.

This townhall debate was one in which Donald Trump had to stand and face his accusers for being a lecherous sexual predator. He chose to instead personalize the statements that were revealed, on tape, as some kind of personal thing and he responded sexually.

The women he ‘interviewed’ before the debate were being treated as pawns. One can almost see him saying “Go get me those women.. Paula Jones, what’s her name.. she’s such a loser. The other one. That one. Get me three women quick.”

Then he brought them into the debate and sat them down in front of Hillary. The clear implication was : Trump is blaming the infidelities of her spouse, on her. When a husband cheats on his wife, it’s his wife’s fault.

And somehow, he tricked everyone to be in the same room with him — the audience became part of it all. We all felt awful. But that is because that is how sexual assault makes you feel. It demeans you. Degrades you.

I finally figured out that the reason I felt bad was because I had just witnessed yet another attack on an innocent woman. And the reason? She disagreed with him.

But there was a greater, more palpable feeling in the air. One in which I slowly began to understand the mind of the Donald Trump Supporter. The real danger is indeed, the deplorable person who uses Donald Trump to bring to public the prejudice , racism and sexism that is so common to so wide a swath of Americans. Only, up until the candidacy of Donald Trump, hidden.

They revel in him because at last they feel they can be themselves. They can jail people who disagree with them. They can use sex to control people. They can blame rape on Mexicans and mark C for “Colored” and keep their neighborhood pure and bring back the good old days of Sundown community.

I realized something about myself. I’m never getting tricked into doing that again. Hillary Clinton is someone we need to fight for. Someone we need to defend. This Bernie Sanders guy listened to the VP Debate, heard Tim Kaine ask.. “How can you defend statements like what Donald Trump said..” and found the answer: I can defend Hillary Clinton.

And I will. I’m with her. She will be an excellent President. And so, on behalf of the American audience, that was tricked into participating in the Town Hall last weekend, I apologize for Donald Trump.

The best path forward: shut down Donald Trump on all levels. Shut down his campaign. Shut down his supporters. Shut down his business, which is little else other than a scam anyway — boycott it. And work for the Clinton campaign, just as hard as I have for Bernie.

I wanted to share this. It’s just a feeling. But I think it’s a good feeling. It’s time to get to work. #imwithher