That time I called my Mom an a-hole

People who won’t wear a mask bring out my ire

Chris Turner
5 min readMay 26, 2020
Wearing a mask signals respect for your fellow humans, as the general consensus is masks protect others more than the wearer. (Chris Turner photo)

I called my mother an asshole yesterday.

Twice.

Pretty much my entire family is mad at me right now, but I can’t say that I’m overly apologetic, other than I didn’t mean to show disrespect to my Mom by cursing. That’s a sin in the South, you know? We have better manners than that.

But here’s the deal: I’m tired of people who won’t listen to good science and who feel entitled to endanger the lives of other people by not wearing a mask when in public spaces.

I have a whole repertoire of salty language enhanced from years spent in newspaper newsrooms across the south, ready to unload on people not following solid public health policy right now, and I can promise you, my Mom got off lightly. But if I’m calling out other people, why not include my mother if she’s also being irresponsible?

These are rough times we are living in with isolation, shutdowns, people without jobs, businesses shuttering — and biggest of all — the 100,000 (and growing) people who lost their lives to COVID-19. It’s beyond time we return to listening to people who are highly trained and leaders in their field.

There have been many discussions and seemingly a study every week or two about whether masks aid in stopping the spread of the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2, which causes COVID-19.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and also our U.S. Surgeon General didn’t help much by stating early in the pandemic that masks didn’t help. However, that was fueled by not wanting to spur a mad dash (like the one on toilet paper) to buy N95 and surgical masks needed by actual healthcare professionals. I will get on my soapbox about that, since my wife, who is a hospice nurse, hasn’t even been given an N95 by her employer. She picked up a couple from our relatives.

But I digress.

The general consensus right now is masks don’t necessarily prevent the wearer from contracting COVID-19, but they help prevent the wearer from passing it on — particularly if the person is asymptomatic, or not showing symptoms of COVID-19.

What does all this mean?

It means one is being courteous to others by wearing a mask, and it should be reciprocated. I wear a mask, and I’m protecting you. You wear a mask, and you’re protecting me. That’s basic respect and caring for others.

Isn’t this how we should act? (Background: Wallpapersafari/Illustration Chris Turner)

What shocks me is people who call themselves “Christians” balking at the practice of wearing a mask when out in public. Isn’t that exactly what the Golden Rule (Matt. 7.12) says? Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.

So why is it a hard concept? Granted, folks should still be practicing other good measures to control the spread of COVID-19, such as washing their hands or using hand sanitizer and staying at least 6 feet apart from others. But we should all be willing to any measures that can help reduce the spread.

And that is the root of why I called my own Mom an asshole. As I hope for the safety of all my loved ones, it just irked me and broke my heart that my Mom, a Christian woman, didn’t care enough about her fellow humans to wear a mask out in public. To hear her shrug off all my arguments sent me over the edge. Her arguments were: I stay socially distanced when I go into places and we’ve been told we don’t have to wear masks. Granted, she lives in Alabama, which has been slow with its government responses during this pandemic. But I think her underlying thought is it’s too much effort and probably somewhat uncomfortable.

Something being too hard or uncomfortable to do is not a valid reason to not protect your fellow humans. Medical issues? Sure. Discomfort? No! Clearly, I need to find more convincing information and ways to convey it more calmly.

A few of the masks I’ve made in the past six weeks. Clearly, I have an obsession with Route 66. (Chris Turner photo)

I’ll finish up with a short look at the making of masks or face coverings. As a butchy genderqueer who grudgingly took home economics after not being allowed to take shop, I’m probably the last person you’d expect to make homemade masks, but my fury about my nurse wife not having proper PPE (personal protection equipment)prompted me to take it up. Count me as one of the many folks across the country obsessed with making homemade masks. Before waiting for an hour just to get into a JoAnn Fabrics store, I did my research into what materials were most effective.

As we’ve gone deeper into this pandemic, more information has surfaced on what types of fabrics provide the best measure of protection.

It’s likely not a bandanna or that old T-shirt sacrificed for the cause, although that T-shirt scores high for breathability and if layers are doubled up, can actually do a decent job of stopping the spread of droplets, according to one study into which fabrics work best. Here are a couple of other studies: American Chemical Society, Smart Air.

Regardless of what material is used, one key needs to be how the mask is worn and getting a tight seal. Here’s the recommendation from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) for wearing a face covering.

We have an overload of information coming at us daily about COVID-19, so I understand the fatigue around it, as well as the desire to resume our so-called “normal” lives.

But seriously folks, it’s not that big of a deal to wear a mask as you walk the aisles of your local stores.

If you don’t wear one, you can be sure I’ll call you an asshole, too.

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Chris Turner

Writer, photographer, designer. Former journalist. Nonprofit nerd and sports geek dedicated to family and softball.