None of us. Figuring out my brother…ugh.
**breathes deeply**
My father WASN’T a diplomat. I am not a black girl with life privilege. It’s tiring this storyline. Simone Biles is an exception. She would have been bad off with a drug-addicted mother if not adopted by grandparents. Her story cancels out.
Anyway, I don’t feel like listening to these stories right now because I’ll get sad about myself. So yeah, X’ing out of that YouTube clip. No thanks.
Not now.
I’m surprised that two people read my last post but it was heartfelt.
And I’m tired from a rehearsal I just got back from. A show called…
Why is this eight-minutes? It’s okay. It’s for me more than anything.
Can I be honest? It’s 1:30am and I really should be asleep. But I have a lot to finish you know. This post isn’t about me so it feels weird saying more than this.
But one of these things before I start is that I’ve always liked watching gymnastics and ice skating, and as the world sees Simone Biles basically being the best in gymnastics, I feel two things. One it’s pretty great to watch honestly.
And the second thing is this. She is 24. And even in watching YouTube videos today watching how everyone is like 20-something basically, I’m…
Figuring out the stored experiences. And the overall story.
I feel myself running away from myself this morning. And I can’t blame her. Sometimes just sitting can feel like a fire.
But I think that I’m starting to calm down now. And writing this will help me. It feels bad when people pass me as I’m walking and normally ask if I need a ride. It actually affected my day. But I’m applying for jobs and continuing my fight. So I will succeed. Even though I woke up this morning feeling bad.
I am working on a dance tape later today and am very nervous. I will work on…
TRANSLATION/INTERPRETATION
Benefit of movies. And reinforcing new vocabulary words.
This will be short. I will rest in my smallness.
Which is difficult but I think it is the only way up.
Earlier I listened to a call with the Writers and Editors of Color group on Twitter Spaces. It helped me to feel connected to something, to other people.
It’s a Pan-African spirit with people from across the Diaspora and different POC cultures too. It is cool that those who started it have this viewpoint. Allison Gaines and Tee Conscious Creative.
Let’s segue. My uncle who is Nigerian speaks a lot of languages. And he took care of my…
A vulnerable moment to release the heaviness…
I want to get things done tonight and I am heavy. So I need to talk this out first before moving on.
I’m not sure how much I feel okay saying here because it is still a public place. So let’s see what I say.
Rehearsal Today
I wish that I had time to understudy parts but the reality is that I’m tired trying to have my life together. But I’ll figure it out. Some of the people were ready to understudy and I’d like to be ready on Monday. And also, can I be honest? I won’t throw anyone under the…
Observations to take and lessons to learn.
I think that Medium is closer to anti-me. It uplifts the stories of pain of light-skinned and biracial people more than a monoracial darker-skinned black woman or girl.
So I have to expect that.
I saw a comment on an article I commented about. And it was valid, the pain of the light-skinned black person getting shit from both Blacks and whites. Sure, we know the story.
A lot of claps though. And I think that this is my oppression, how a light-skinned person can use their humanity as a weapon because even within bad experiences — being bullied or…
And an intro for the ages. By their powers combined. Heart. Lungs. And four more body parts. Ay.
It’s 2am and need to go to sleep. But I have so much to still finish. So I pray I can get to sleep at 4 and not do this again.
I had a day today where I just left feeling so weird and I know that people pick up on my vibes. But honestly, I have to be honest about my mental health knowing that I can’t help my vibes right now. I am human and am affected. So I am just going to accept this and work toward better always.
But know that I can only do so…
Another Mother’s Day poem
I.
What I miss the most
Is that there was tomorrow
Tomorrow to get it right
The prospect of a better future
You know
I wish that the few friends I have
One would have said
I’m sorry for your loss
I’m sorry, how are you?
But maybe it is karma for
The times I was an ass
To others
Maybe it’s karma
But I wish I had friends
Who I know would check-in
I sent a text to a friend today
And said they’d lost their mother, too
So sorry
Thanks! They said
No, you too
Nothing reciprocated
But maybe…
I hope this reaches the happy middle again. I hate blogging things out like this but how else do I not go crazy?
I just sent Mother’s Day posts. One I haven’t sent yet because energetically it feels better to write this in a positive direction first before reaching out when annoyed gamma rays are still in the air.
I wrote yesterday about how my friend hurt my feelings by telling me that I was aging out of my goals. That maybe I just wasn’t good enough. Which is something I talk about always, not being good enough. This is a fact. I’m not a lot of the time. And sometimes I’m okay and fine.
This isn’t the argument. And I had to…
Sometimes I am delusional. I guess we’ll see if that’s okay.
I have to write this. I don’t want to write this but I have to. The wider world is no safer for me, I know. But neither is my insular one. And I won’t say that someone poured acid on my dreams again. I saw a clip of a person who was was attacked by acid as a baby.
These are real victims. There should be no metaphor for something that is real human suffering. Universe, I’m sorry. I won’t do that again. It was naive and silly and lacking in empathy.
I’m sorry.
Now let’s get to it.
My…
Obinna Morton
My name is Obinna. This is my story. WEOC, The Pink, The Book Mechanic.
