I Still Have No Idea What I’m Doing & I Turn 24 Years Old Soon
I turn 24 in October. I know this shouldn’t frighten me as much as it does. I know this shouldn’t make me immediately go into panic mode. But, it does. And frankly, I started panicking the second I turned 21.
I know 24 isn’t an ‘old’ age. I know turning 24 isn’t a huge milestone like turning 25 or 30 is. But, it’s such an odd feeling knowing another year has passed.
It’s scary and exciting. But, mostly scary. Even though, it shouldn’t be!
For so long in my mind, turning 24 basically meant that I’ve got to get my shit together. At 21, I could be as wild as I wanted. At 23, I started working.
But turning 24 used to seem like the kind of age where I needed to really reach for my goals. 24 seemed like the kind of age where I should maybe start focusing about my career. And 24 seemed like the kind of age where I should start behaving like a grown up.
The age of 24 seemed to me, like the age where adulthood is in full swing.
And you know what? I’ve realised that sometimes, I don’t want to act like an adult. No matter what I age I am. I want to do things without a care about what people think about me. I want to go on crazy adventures still. I want to travel the world. I want to run free. Like I did when I was 6. Your age is just a number.
It doesn’t mean anything else.
I still have so much time to do all that I want. I still have so much time to reach my dreams and find my life partner. There is no handbook that tells you what things you should have crossed off your list by now. And you shouldn’t cave in society pressures that you have to ‘get your life together’.
I have come to understand that panicking about growing older is pointless. The sun is going to keep rising and setting. The world is going to keep spinning. Society says that we need to have all of these crazy goals checked off. Society says that we need to act like adults already. That we need to fit a certain mold to make our parents proud. Everyone around is telling us to grow up. Everyone around us is telling to be serious.
But, I already tried to do what society wanted me to do. And I hated that job. Because it wasn’t what I loved to do.And the only reason I did it, was because I felt like it was what I was supposed to be doing.
So, when I turn 24, I’m going to try to remain calm. It’s just a number after all. I’m not going to do things just because I feel pressured to. I’m not going to go after things that I do not want. I’m not going to do what other people think I should be doing.
And I’m going to try not to feel like I’m falling behind.
Everyone is on their own path. Everyone is going to have their own journey to get where they want to go. Everyone is going to go through life in their own pace. So, don’t let a number define you. Don’t ever let a number make you feel inadequate. Do what you want, in your own time. You’ll get there eventually. We feel so much guilt for essentially acting our age and making mistakes. We’re obsessed with this idea of being domesticated and having our shit together. It’s kind of sad actually because I don’t think we ever fully get a chance to enjoy our youth. We’re so concerned about doing things “the right way” that we lose any sense of pleasure in doing things the wrong way. Youth may be truly wasted on the young.
But you can’t sit back passively and watch the years go by, hoping one day you’ll figure it out.You have to get your sh*t together and start doing. Because for goodness sake, you’re twenty-three already! LMAO