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Hi Tina,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve experienced abuse from your parents (and I assume extended family). I can relate to feeling very lonely in the years where I first took distance from them, after which I did end up circling back to live close to them and have more contact with them again. Part of the challenge was that my blueprint for friendships was based on what I had learned in my family — which caused me to attach myself to people who also showed signs of similar dysfunction. It was extremely painful to be a loner moving from one work/social environment to the next (I worked so hard, trying to prove my worth to people who fundamentally didn’t value me), never really finding people with whom it worked out.

One metaphor that stuck with me is that there must be light at the end of the tunnel, if I just keep at it. Even though I had my share of therapists I really didn’t like, I would say that overall going to therapy has been very helpful (I wish I had started earlier), in combination with deciding to take care of myself financially gradually improve the quality of my life by being more mobile, having a therapist, etc.

Here’s a book that I can recommend on the subject: https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Your-Parents-Setting-Precedent-ebook/dp/B00I5RZR3A

I wish you strength, thanks so much for reaching out!

Tuur