Valdumpster Diving

“Fine” dining in the Far South

The views expressed in this blog post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Air Force.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let’s let loose.

The military is rather adept at dark humor. I suppose that’s what this is. A cope for spending 10% of my life in the swamp. Now before you get offended — people are good at that these days — let me concede that I will sincerely miss the tolerance for parking on front lawns, this strange preference for BBQing in front yards instead of the back, and the seeming social acceptance of using motorized shopping carts despite being perfectly mobile… I’ve never partaken in that last one myself.

This ceremonial end-of-tour roast is not the focus though. The purpose of this blog is to share with you the best restaurants in Valdosta.

Quality is few and far between, but after visiting 62 different restaurants during our 3.5 year stay, we have consolidated a citywide rankings.

To make the list, restaurants had to be local or regional (not a nationwide chain), not a buffet (sorry Mama June’s), and within the Valdosta city limits barring one exception. We start at the bottom of the barrel and work our way to the big fish in the little pond.

The Do Not Eat List

62 Masato

Do not disrespect your wallet, your spouse, or your tastebuds with what I can only describe as a god-awful Japanese knockoff of Applebee's.

61 Coyoacan

This one might cause some strong reactions, but it is quintessential Southern Mexican food. I.e. marinara sauce for salsa and no spice at all.

60 Wooden Nickel Pub

I admit that the food here is likely better than 60th, but the service we got was the worst of any restaurant in this list. Perhaps give Wooden Nickel a second chance.

59 Hunan House

Hunan is still takeout-only despite the WHO declaring the end of the pandemic. Where you get your news matters. And where you get your food matters. Lowest ranking Chinese food in the city.

58 Huey Magoo’s

I’ll give them credit for having the cajones to attempt a fast chicken sandwich in what is undoubtedly the most saturated chicken sandwich market in the United States, but it does not measure up to Chickfila, Zaxby’s, Popeye’s, Bojangles, Church’s, or Zacadoo’s (in particular order — Zacadoo’s is underrated btw).

57 Hog ‘n Bones

Appealing on the outside…don’t be fooled.

56 Peking Restaurant

To-go is served in microwave dinner trays… and that’s what it tastes like.

55 Great Wall

A twin of Peking, but close to Snopocalypse which is at least great for hot summer days.

The Would Go Back List

Note: No particular order in this section. All good enough to at least try once.

Bert’s Place

That lone house on the west side of Bemiss Road. It’s a Filipino market with a tiny restaurant inside. Homemade food. Great lumpia. A good change of pace if you’d like to switch it up!

Pizza Quick

With a name like that and a restaurant sign that always seem to be missing lightbulbs, I expected this to fair worse on the list, but Little Caesar’s ain’t got nothing on Pizza Quick! Seriously, don’t hesitate if quick calories are the goal.

Relish

The Chipotle of burgers. Good customization and good service.

Cup Works

Fast Asian. Better sushi than Osaka. Decent Bento boxes. It’s still the small town South, so keep those sushi expectations in check.

Thai Chang I

Near base and fine. If you want Thai close to base, go to Thai Mobile and support a local legend.

Thai Mobile

Veteran-owned. This guy has been serving lunch to airmen for years. But that’s it. No breakfast or dinner. Only open 1100–1430 Mon/Tues/Wed/Fri. Portions are a bit skimpy, but patriotism is high.

Hibachi Express

A pleasant surprise in terms of quality, but it’s no Benny Hana.

Sonny’s BBQ

Not as widely known as the staple BBQ joints in the city, but just as good as Woodstack.

Woodstack

Well known and close to the new base housing (which I highly recommend btw). Smoke ‘N Pig is better. Don’t @ me!

La Jalisco Supermercado

Kind of like La Taqueria, but greasier and heavier. If you want to practice your Spanish or find niche international foods, in their attached supermarket, shop here!

Margarona’s

My car broke down on Bemiss next to here one night as the police were caution-taping the parking lot following a deadly shooting. Margarona’s is a nice family restaurant until 10pm and then the Margaritas take over and it becomes a questionable night club.

El Paso Tacos & Tequila

MASSIVE MARGARITAS. Ok food. Brother Pedro does it better.

Empanada’s and More

Way busier than I expected, this place has a solid customer base for its Venezuelan specialty. Plan for take out. We liked the potato and chicken the best.

Big Nick’s BBQ

Big Nick’s is worth going to if you like trying different BBQ. It ranks 3rd in BBQ restaurants for Valdosta.

Stone Pho

Just missing the Top 25, Stone Pho is the newest restaurant on the list. Way overpriced, but for now, the next closest pho restaurant is Waycross. Somehow they don’t offer chicken pho, but the stone pho special comes roiling hot and you can quick your protein in it at the table.

The Top 25

25 Moe’s Mediterranean Table

Get your falalfel fix or endulge in the gyros. Good location to explore downtown on a nice evening!

24 Surchero’s

In rare fashion, a Chipotle imitator has nearly lived up to the well-known mega chain. We like this place. Choose it over Barberito’s, Burrito’s Mexican Grill, and Moe’s Southwest.

23 Mellow Mushroom

A local cult classic. 3rd overall for pizza. The best way to think about Mellow Mushroom is imagining if Buffalo Wild Wings served pizza instead of wings. If you like BWs, you’ll probably be a Mellow Mushroom fan.

22 Jack’s Chophouse

The highest class steakhouse you’ll find in town. It’s tasty, but considering the price, we like the next 21 more.

21 Smoke ‘N Pig

If you grew up in Valdosta, this is where you make your stand. The libs in Austin have nothing on us. It’s above average for sure y’all, but I’m guessing you haven’t travelled much if this is your definition of Grade A barbecue.

20 Chicken Salad Chick

Wow this guy must be a total prick for rating Chicken Salad Chick above Smoke ‘N Pig. Don’t judge until you’ve tried it. This place slaps and is also close to Small Cakes for those seeking a follow-on sugar rush.

19 Pedro’s Tacos and Tequila

An evolution of El Paso Taco’s and Tequila, we can neither confirm nor deny the rumors that a bartender ruffied customers’ drinks. Our dinner party did act a little strange after those margheritas… they were probably just lightweights. I can, however, confirm that this is the 2nd best sit-down Mexican in town.

18 Marco’s Pizza

10% military discount and this pizza is GOOD. I mean really good. Super close to Crosspointe Church and new base housing. Definitely recommend.

17 Sabor mi Veracruz

One of the newest additions to the VLD restaurant scene. Quality Mexican! You know it’s authentic when ordering in English is not an option. Luckily I had my translator with me. The fajitas were delicious.

16 Sam’s Carryout BBQ ⭐ Best BBQ

Biggest portions. Best taste. Great sides. This establishment is not eye-candy. In fact, it comes off sketchy. But pull up your big boy/girl/non-binary pants and take the leap especially if BBQ is your thing.

15 Fairway Tavern

Built in the last year, this was a nice supplement after the loss of Steel Magnolias. Drive golf balls on a virtual game, above average bar, outdoor firepits, and a good place to watch sports — unless you’re a Kansas Jayhawks fan. Sorry Addie.

14 Thai Chang II ⭐ Best Thai

The better of the two Changs. Cheap and tasty. Who doesn’t love Thai.

13 San Judas Tadeos ⭐ Best Sit-Down Mexican

Our favorite sit-down Mexican. Fill up on food here and then inadvisably walk over to Cuz’s where you can smoke while you drink.

12 Beijing Cafe ⭐ Best Chinese

In my opinion, the only Chinese worth going to in Valdosta. Tucked away in the Best Buy parking lot, this place has decent ambiance and great Orange Chicken. If it wasn’t so far from my house it would probably be one of our go-to Friday night restaurants.

11 Fabulous Pizza ⭐ Best Pizza

Mellow Mushroom cult followers I am sorry to break the news to you. Fabulous Pizza is the best pizza in the city. Their calzones are also baller. But do not order over the phone! They never pick up. Grubhub or in-person only. This has frustrated me enough times to pull chocks and go to Marco’s Pizza, but it is better than Marco’s.

10 Mom and Dad’s Italian Restaurant

A fan favorite just across the street from Crosspointe Church, Mom and Dad’s lives up to the name. Homie and family-owned. A good upscale date option. It gets crowded on Fri/Sat nights. My only critique: service at Mom and Dad’s has consistently been slow.

9 Uncle Carlo’s Italian Ristorante

The sole guest from Lake City. Multiple locals had mentioned Uncle Carlo’s as a hidden gem. I would agree. The establishment itself doesn’t immediately shout “eat here,” but the Italian is on par with the best in Valdosta and they also have a gelato bar.

8 La Taqueria (aka Gas Station Tacos)

Everyone knows it. Everyone loves it. Pretty cheap all things considered too. If you have an AMEX Platinum card, you can use your monthly Uber Eats credit here and skip the line at pick-up. For those who haven’t heard, AMEX waives their credit card fees for active duty military AND their spouses (as long as the spouse is in DEERS). I highly recommend taking advantage of the free perks including Uber Eats credit, BOGO flights, airport lounge access, free hotel nights, and more depending on the card. Contrary to popular belief, over the long run more cards will help your credit score as long as you don’t increase your total spending. Shameless Platinum Card referral link here: https://americanexpress.com/en-us/referral/PETERV0UmG?xl=cp19

7 Salty Snapper

Who likes trivia? Or Blood Mary bars? If so, stop by Salty Snapper. They have a nautical-themed outdoor patio. Best side dish is the street-corn with hush puppies the runner-up.

6 Rico’s Tacos ⭐ Best Fast Mexican

Should I fall on my sword for this one? I would, but Rico’s Tacos really is the best fast Mexican in town. Yes, even better than La Taqueria. My favorite is the Guadalajara style burrito. Because it’s so far south, many will not have tried it. They used to have free chips and salsa to-go, but ya know…inflation.

5 Friends

A Valdosta staple for morning meals. Dinner is solid too, but I’d recommend brunch. Fun rustic bar as well. Get the sweet potato biscuits. Chef’s kiss 🤌🏼

4 The Bistro ⭐ Best Fancy Date Night

Try the drunken mushrooms! Always go with their deluxe sides over the standard. If you’re looking for an upscale date location this is the spot. Their wine selection has historically been one of the best in town. Not cheap.

3 Passage to India ⭐ Best Indian

Family-run Indian food. Top-notch masala and naan. As the only Indian food around, they have a local monopoly. And like most monopolies, prices are a borderline racket. Would still recommend.

2 Steel Magnolias

RIP to the runner-up. The only rooftop bar in Valdosta to my knowledge. Good food and great vibes. Actual artistic ability. COVID inspired the owner to move-on to focus on the family. Here, here 🥂 Don’t ever be afraid to get unstuck.

1 Giulio’s Greek & Italian ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

The oldest restaurant in Valdosta is also the best. They’ve been serving homemade sangria, a wonderful ambiance, and excellent food for 30+ years. Great selection of fish and pasta. You’ll find lamb, venison, and beef too. Spinach pie is known as their specialty. Classic Greek desserts include baklava and tiramisu. Your number one priority is to upgrade your garden salad to the Greek salad. It keeps us coming back time after time and will certainly be where we have our last meal before PCSing.

Now go put these rankings to the test and tell me what you think.

Cheers.