LAUGH, LOVE, LIVE- Life is here and now
The concept of individuality is a myth in a connected world wherein the same energy manifests in one and all. This throbbing energy, which we call life manifests in a body, does it’s dance and falls right back into the soil only to take a different form and shape. Such being the transient nature of our cognizant existence, this energy in us could be used either constructively to dissect the cloud of ignorance or to completely decapitate the beauty of one’s existence. So what do we do with this bountiful time-bound energy? What is the purpose of existence? A few common people and their uncommon resolve have reinforced the significance of perseverance, hope and time- three cogs in this wheel of existence. Here are the snippets from their inspirational stories.
Story 1- Perseverance
“Fireside chat with Link CEO and keynote speaker-Joseph Kim” read the unassuming subject of the meeting invite. The talk was being hosted by Welcome Refugee Alliance, the group in Starbucks that advocates for refugees and brings their voice to the mainstream. I walked into the talk with zero expectations but came out with a tremendous appreciation for the resilience in the human spirit. In that hour and a half, Joseph Kim spoke about the heartbreaking story of how as a young boy, he lost everything in life (including his parents, sister), was rescued to the United States and rebuilt his very self with perseverance. There was a major famine in North Korea during the late ’90s that killed thousands of people including Joseph’s father. Joseph a 12-year-old boy, along with his mother and sister wandered aimlessly from one relative’s house to another in search of food and shelter. Eventually, Joseph’s mother decided to cross over to China along with his sister, wherein she had to sell her daughter to ensure that hands fed the stomach. His mother was subsequently arrested by North Korean authorities and put in jail. This brought Joseph to streets wherein he survived as a kotjebi (homeless child) for 2 years by begging and eventually stealing. When all options ran out, Joseph made a daredevil crossing to China. The street survival instincts enabled him to venture further into the heartland China wherein he was rescued by a church and put under the care of an angel grandmother. Under her loving care, Joseph rediscovered his lost dignity and compassion. Link (Liberty in North Korea)- a non-profit organization, eventually learned about Joseph and helped him make a narrow escape to the United States as a refugee. Joseph despite being terrible in academics, used this opportunity to turn a new leaf in his life. He completed his high school and graduated as an excellent student by sheer perseverance. When Joseph came over to give his talk at Starbucks and promote his book Under the Same Sky, he was about to take up his first job in a month’s time.
Story 2- Hope
“Good morning, Ramki, it’s so nice to meet you”- she greeted as I walked into the room. The radiance in her face and the optimism in her voice made a refreshing start to our interaction. I was at the International Rescue Committee(IRC) office to support the mock interview practice for the participants. The goal was to work one-on-one with the refugee clients to help them practice interview skills, share networking tips and advise them on navigating U.S job market. The girl seated in front of me was one of the candidates looking to sharpen their skills to face a job interview.
She would have been in her early 20’s and had a positive aura to her persona. Took the first couple of minutes to read through her resume. It was concise, hit upon all the relevant information and did a good job of highlighting her strengths. After identifying three areas that I wanted to focus on pertinent to the position being interviewed, I went about framing the conversation in the form of situational questions. This enabled me to get a view of her expertise with the leeway to dive deeper on the specifics where relevant. She started off on a confident note. Her responses were clear and articulate. At junctures where the question was not clear, she sought out for clarification. It was evident in the first 10 minutes that I had a person sitting in front of me who was calm, centered and well poised. There was a deep sense of conviction in every word she spoke. She made direct eye contact. Those eyes had a tinge of sadness that was camouflaged by a tremendous ray of hope. She had a fantastic story to tell.
The girl hailed from the town of Kigali in Rwanda. She was the youngest daughter in a family of five siblings. Her parents had modest means but ensured that the kids received a good education. She was extremely good in academics and secured excellent grades during her school days. She was a community person at heart and had a natural inclination to reach out and be useful to others. Her fluency in English, French, and Kinyarwanda made her affable to a larger audience in the community. The girl by virtue of her grades won an extremely competitive and coveted scholarship that enabled her to be a chosen few to pursue graduation in the United States.
It was a new beginning in an unknown shore. The culture in the United States was a complete surprise for her. Hailing from a country wherein the girls are not allowed to voice an opinion on critical family affairs, she found that the women were bold, empowered and confident in this new land. The campus life helped rekindle a new sense of purpose and individuality in her character. She became an active volunteer and a vocal champion of the African diaspora in various forums. Her propensity to help people naturally attracted her to the area of public health and provided a platform for work for initiatives involving women’s health and unwanted pregnancies. Things could not have been better!!!
It was at this time that the general elections in Rwanda were announced. She was back home for a brief stint combining her vacations with an internship program with a local wellness center. One of her relatives was in the midst of running for the election as an opposition candidate. She jumped on to the bandwagon and started campaigning with full fervor. The incumbent had been running the country for the last several years and was seeking a third term. He had ruled the country with a tight fist with very little room for dissent. Many of the competitors were barred from running for reasons of technicality. The elections ultimately turned out to be a big farce with the incumbent getting re-elected with a thumping majority. The candidates who dared to run against the incumbent’s party were tracked down and made to pay a heavy price. All of the supporters of these candidates and their families were in grave danger of their lives.
The girl was back in the United States. She completed her graduation in flying colors topping as a Dean’s list candidate. But alas, things were no longer the same. She cannot go back to the country she loved at least for the foreseeable future. Her correspondence with her parents is rare and muted, lest she puts them in the path of danger. Would she ever be reunited with them again? — god knows. Until that time, she has to keep the fight for survival on in this foreign land. She has to rebuild her life brick by brick- by finding a place to stay, employment to pay her bills and most importantly have a hope for better tomorrow. For now, all she has is hope to keep her going.
Story 3- Time
“And now folks, please welcome Steven Skinner- the head of Retail and Consumer goods group who has traveled all the way from US to address this audience”. Steven took the stage to a loud cheer and applause. “Thank you, folks. It’s such a pleasure to be among all of you today. I had a wonderful journey from the US and landed to the hot and humid weather in Chennai. Everything went perfect until the time I got to the baggage carousel. Much to my surprise, discovered that my luggage has decided to arrive a couple of days later!!! My dear colleagues were kind enough to take me to Chennai downtown to get some dresses that I could wear for today’s town hall”.
The mention of the word Chennai downtown left the audience in splits!!! The term downtown is the American parlance to indicate the main part of the city and is not commonly used in an Indian setting. When Steven used it in a local context, the audience couldn’t hold their laughter!!! He had the crowd by his side for the next 45 minutes, magnetically hooked on to every word. The man had a deep sense of passion and weaved magic with his delivery. He was clearly a leader who had deep expertise and an excellent grip on his audience.
This was back in 2011 when Steven Skinner was heading the consulting division of Cognizant- a multinational corporation that provided Information Technology, consulting and outsourcing services. Fast forward 5years later and I was at Seattle driving a project for a client of Cognizant. Steven made occasional visits to Seattle from Atlanta( his home town) to oversee the engagement. I got to see him up close in action as part of this work. Steven personified exuberance for life. He listened with intent, was affable and made decisions with supreme confidence. He had a magnetism that people looked up to.
Steven Skinner was well built and athletic. He had an avid interest in sports right from childhood. Athleticism and good academics helped Steven get into the US Naval Academy. He progressively grew in ranks and became a commander. Subsequently, Steven took a plunge to the corporate life and went on to work for Microsoft, Home Depot, Accenture and Cognizant. Steven led from the front and was at one point voted as the Consulting Magazine’s Top 25 consultant in 2015- a coveted award presented to the best of the best in the tech industry.
All of that took an abrupt turn in December 2017 when Steven was on a business trip. He collapsed ill and was diagnosed with glioblastoma- a malignant form of brain cancer. Steven’s family rallied around him for support. After several months of chemotherapy and critical surgeries, Steven was given a 4–6 months to live. As a twist of fate, the Super Bowl 2019 was slated to be played in Atlanta on Feb 3rd. Steven had always wanted to attend the Super Bowl but had not been able to due to other commitments. His son started a gofundme campaign as a tribute to his father. Steven and his family watched the game and cheered for Patriots. The commander passed away a few days later.
This quote from Lisa Skinner- Steven’s wife summed up Steven’s life journey beautifully:- “The amount of money you make, the awards you get, the championships you win, doesn’t necessarily tell you whether or not you’re a good person. And to have this year for other people to take the time to do that and to tell him what’s been most important to them and how he’s impacted their lives, I think that’s been a real gift for everybody”- [Coutesy:https://wtop.com/]
Reflection
What defines your experience of life? It’s about how you feel on a day to day basis. And what defines how you feel? Your experiences.
Essentially, all human experiences are generated from within. Sure, life can throw a curve ball occasionally and can even be brutal at times. A lot of that is beyond one’s control. How to respond to situations is totally within one’s sphere of influence. It is this inner equanimity that ultimately shapes their experiences and in turn, translates into a positive feeling that makes life enjoyable.
Joseph Kim emerged like a phoenix from the near-death starvation and is leading a life of hope and optimism today. The girl at the Internation Rescue Committee who is separated from her parents, relatives and native land is turning a corner and is looking forward to a new tomorrow with promise. Steven Skinner left behind an indelible mark with his pure zest for life and the amazing human being that he was. The common thread among all three of them is the fact that they did not let the circumstances define their destiny. Instead, they shaped the destiny with their inner resolve.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. The gift of the present is the only reality, for who knows what’s in store the next moment? As Saint Kabir put it aptly in one of his couplets:
काल करे सो आज कर, आज करै सो अब | पल में परलय होयगी, बहुरी करेगा कब ||
[Do what you have planned for tomorrow, today
Do what you have planned for today, now
In a moment, everything could be washed away (possible allusion to death)
How else will you reach fruition in this capricious life?]
