Mind our own business
Those people are dangerous who choose to remain silent when things are going on.
- Paulo Coelho.
May 2010, Gaya, Bihar, India
A guy who just had given exam of 12th standard was talking on the phone to his friend. While he was talking, a person comes nearby and started shouting some name. The boy was standing outside his house and the person was calling the boy’s father. The boy got disturbed due to hoarse voice of the man. He told his friend “ Wait for 10-15 minutes, let me handle this person and what he needs then I will call you.”
He asked the man(nicely) “ What do you want ? Why are you shouting ?”
The man replied: “ Ask him to come.”
Boy: “Can’t you just wait instead of shouting like hell ?”
Man: Do you know who I am ?
Boy: Why should I know that ? You were shouting like in my ears while I was talking to my friend.
Man: You give me counter reply, I will put you behind the bars.
The conversation continued until his father came.
The man was a police officer and a friend of his father.
Later that day, the boy was scolded by his parents for talking to police officer that way, they were not talking about courtesy rather they were afraid of police officer.
May 2012, Gaya Bihar, India
Same guy was sitting with his friends in the village. They were teasing each other and cracking jokes on one another. While they were enjoying, a police officer came and started beating one of his friends. Nobody had any idea of why he was beating him.
Police officer says “ You pass comments, lets go to police station”.
He was abusing like hell and his next target was that guy but he somehow manages to get away from his eyes. Although his friend was not taken to police station but was beaten furiously. He tried to say to policemen and people who were just standing watching the whole drama going on, but his words were replied by abusive words from the mouth of police officer. Some of the people were even accusing those boys. Those who knew there was not any wrongdoing from their side were keeping mouth shut and minding their own business.
After the boy reached his home, he told his father that he was going to file a report against the police officer for such a atrocious behavior, but his parents did not let him do that. They did not want to take any sort of step against policemen and yes, they were afraid of them because Policemen are more wicked than the criminals sometimes.
In both of the above instances, the guy was me. I never have had any nice, calm or polite interaction with Policemen and I guess due to this thing, I really hate them. I wonder why do people choose to remain silent in certain occasions where there is a sheer need of voice and I have found this habit among Educated people too (Mind you I did not say Literate ones). When illiterate or some literate people could not take some steps, for a moment, we can say that they are not sensible or any excuse can be found hypothetically. But it’s very much sad when Educated people do that. “that” means “Mind our own business”.
They may think that by minding their own business, they are keeping themselves safe. But don’t they have a pinch of idea that if they don’t come forward and say anything, they are indirectly encouraging criminals, rapists, male chauvinists, the husband who beats his wife and children frequently, the boss/officer who assaults or sexually abuses female staffs/assistants/officials on a regular basis, those Government officials (irrespective of the level they are working on) who just take the advantage of being in power and do illegitimate activity, and all those who are evil in the societies. I have a question for them “If anybody is attacking somebody, is not there a bit of possibility that they can also be target in tomorrow , if those demons in human form are not stopped today.” (God forbids from anything like that to happen.)
I have one more instance of a fellow Quora user, I have read that on a question. And I am not changing it, just copying and pasting it.
2008, I was coming back from college in a Delhi Transport Corporation bus. A school girl (13-14 maybe) was sitting in the seat front of mine. As the passenger next to her got off, a young guy sat next to her. After a while, he started shifting closer to her and almost cornered her to the point she was pressed against the window. Then he threw his arms around her casually and slid his hand in her shirt. I could see all this as I was sitting right behind her. I waited for the girl to raise her voice. But she kept mum,hugging her bag tightly to her chest. When I could not take it any longer, I stood up and tapped his shoulder and asked what he was doing. Angered by this disruption, he asked me what my problem was and why didn’t I mind my own business. (Apparently, this is what we Indians are best at doing, “minding our own business”)
I looked at the girl, she did not even have the courage to stand up and continued hugging her bag. I asked her why would not she slap the guy, she looked down and did not utter a word. The most awesome part being, all this while the passengers on the bus (it was a jam packed bus) nobody uttered a single word and watched as if it was a free matinee show. Indians are oblivious to eve-teasing, usually non-vocal when they witness it and later protest against rising cases of rapes because “that” happens behind their back.
The guy gained some confidence and started shouting why I was being such a “jhansi ki rani” (warrior princess) especially when the girl had no objection. He started hurling abuses at me. My face was red already, I knew that I won’t argue with the shit bag a minute longer. I gathered all my courage, grabbed his collar and punched him in the face with all my might. I did not realize the impact until his nose started to bleed profusely and he started howling (abusing me more). I am sure he would have hit me back if both his hands weren’t holding his face. Now, “this” shook the passengers and the conductor up from their deep slumber of ignorance and made them rush to save him. I asked the driver to pull over at the next police station. But he refused and said that “itna toh chalta rehta hai bus mein,adjust toh karna padega” (all this is part of traveling by a bus, learn to adjust). There was a collective agreement, someone also believed that he had been hurt already for a “small” mistake, somebody also gave a piece of his mind by blaming the parents for “allowing” their children to commute by public transport, someone cribbed about the unnecessary fuss and people being troubled.”
If you want to read full answer, go to the link:
Neha Jha’s answer to Life: What is the bravest thing you have ever done or said?.
I must tell you that things have not changed much. Although, this was incident in 2008, but incidents like this can be observed in public transport of Delhi, Pune, Mumbai and other places.
It’s more saddening to see that the youth is also becoming self-centered and minding their own business.
I have seen many incidents when any person riding bike and bicycle needs help and people don’t even look at them. And it’s more grieving when well educated youth does the same. Just imagine if any person can’t even help another person in normal situation, can we expect them to help others in a grave situations such as street lofars making vulgar comments on any girl or teasing them, bunch of guys beating somebody, policemen doing atrocious activities and many such things.
Two or three years ago, I and my friends were going somewhere on foot, we saw a boy who fell down from the bicycle and was seriously injured. After watching him, I moved to help and as I stepped ahead a voice from my friends came “ Why are you being emotional ? These things happened everyday and we will be getting late. And there is no need of being hero.”
After listening this, I was very much stunned and angry too. I didn’t move from the place to help but I remained standing until the boy got help from somebody else. Later that night, I kept thinking about the incident and I couldn’t sleep for two-three days, I don’t remember. What if instead of that boy I was lying down and nobody came for help, what would have happened ? Nobody wants to help others to become hero, it comes out of humanity to help others. We are social animals, we are supposed to keep the social norms alive. If everybody keeps living their life and minding their own business, then there would not be existence of family, there would not be anything like society. And yes, if people like Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi were minding their own business, situations in RSA and India would have been very much different from what it is now.
Consider these three questions and give a bit of thought:
- If one does not help others when there is need, can he/she expect from others to help ?
- People comment, criticize and suggest many things, but do they do the same as and when time and situations ask ?
- Is there any possibility of peace and security in society if every person minds his own business in difficult times ?
