Published in Twenty Eight Years·PinnedMember-onlyWhy My Mother Never Talks About How I DiedThe stigma is almost too much for her to bear — It has been four months since the earth was graced with my presence. It seems like a lifetime ago. For me, it is a lifetime ago. Only a handful of people know how I died. I don’t talk about it because no one can hear me, and my mother chooses…Addiction4 min readAddiction4 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Mar 6, 2022Member-onlyDeath is Like Last Year’s Big ConcertThe one where you bought the t-shirt and now it’s stuffed in the back of your drawer — Do you ever think about or remember the last concert you attended? There’s a good chance the last big event you did was a few years ago. I mean, the pandemic has been in full effect for two whole years already and it feels like a time warp. I often…Loss2 min readLoss2 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Oct 17, 2021Member-onlyYour Kids Will Remember Your Magic Carpet Rides More Than Your MistakesA valuable lesson learned from my nine-year-old daughter — It’s kind of a b*tch that we often don’t recognize what’s important until it comes to a point of regret. At my memorial service, my nine-year-old daughter wasn’t crying because I’d made too many mistakes to ever regain my dignity. …Parenthood4 min readParenthood4 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Aug 31, 2021Member-onlyThe Problem With International Overdose Awareness DayIt’s that you’re not aware of it until it affects you deeply — August 31st is International Overdose Awareness day. I bet you didn’t know about it, did you? The entire day has passed and you were unaware of its significance. Did you know the purple ribbon signifies this day? …Addiction3 min readAddiction3 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Aug 22, 2021Member-onlyWarning: They Will Show Naked Pics of You at Your FuneralThey’ll also splash you with holy water — I just attended my own memorial service. Overall thoughts on the whole event? It was a beautiful tribute to the guy I was for twenty-eight years. But there were some unexpected moments as well. …Funerals4 min readFunerals4 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Jul 21, 2021Member-onlyHow Someone Goes From Cutest Little Boy to Suicide NoteThe sunshine just can’t find its way through our shade — I wrote a suicide letter on April 1, 2020. No, it wasn’t an April Fools joke. But also no, I didn’t go through with it. My mom found the unsent letter the other day among boxes of my belongings. …Addiction5 min readAddiction5 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Jul 13, 2021Member-onlyLife Lessons I Didn’t Learn Until I Was DeadDon’t wait as long as I did to realize these things — They say hindsight is 20/20. So is sight from another realm. We can see everything clearly from the other side which can be a catalyst for plenty of regret. If not for my clear vision now I would have never learned some important life lessons. Some, I wish I’d known…Life Lessons4 min readLife Lessons4 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Jul 6, 2021Member-onlyThe Torment of Reading a Dead Boy’s WordsIt’s something every bereaved parent eventually faces — When a parent loses a child, the inevitability of sifting through what remains is burdensome. Not because they don’t want to do it, but because they don’t want to have to do it. For parents whose children lived at home, they can simply shut their child’s bedroom door until the…Writing4 min readWriting4 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Jun 24, 2021Member-onlyYou Are Exactly the Right Person to Help SomeoneEven if you are deemed as the lowest of society’s low — The idea that we need to be somebody in order to help or teach anybody is such a crock. Each of us is in a position to help someone, even if we’ve been unable to effectively help ourselves. One word, one sentence, a single interaction could change the direction of…Prison4 min readPrison4 min read
Published in Twenty Eight Years·Jun 9, 2021Member-onlyMy Mother Wants to Live But She’s Not Afraid to DieGoodbyes hurt most when the story isn’t finished — A profound shift occurs when you lose the most important person in the world to you. I’ve been watching this shift in my mother for the past several months. It’s as if she has been set free from her lifelong irrational fear and she’s slowly coming to realize it. Ask…Death And Dying3 min readDeath And Dying3 min read
