The Game of Thrones (+) Guide To Mendelssohn’s Elijah — Part 2

** Part 1 **

#11: “Baal, We Cry To Thee.”
Prophets of Baal: Baal, we cry to thee, hear and answer us! Heed the sacrifice we offer! Hear us, Baal! Hear, mighty god! Baal, oh answer us! Baal, let thy flames fall and vanquish the foe!

At this point, the music gets very exciting. When King’s Landing is finally under siege by the dragons, the people will cry like this too to invoke their gods. “Baal” is pronounced “Bale” as in Christian, that other god from the superhero pantheon.

#12: “Call Him Louder!”
Elijah: Call him louder, for he is a god! He talketh, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey; or, peradventure, he sleepeth: so awaken him! Call him louder, call him louder!
Prophets of Baal: Hear our cry, o Baal, now arise! Wherefore slumber?

Elijah is taunting them now. Where’s your guy? “Peradventure” means “perhaps” — not “perverse adventure” as I initially thought, though Baal could well be watching porn and just ignoring his people.

#13: “Call Him Louder!”
Elijah: Call him louder! He heareth not. With knives and lancets cut yourselves after your manner. Leap upon the altar ye have made, call him and prophesy! Not a voice will answer you: none will listen, none heed you.
Prophets of Baal: Baal! Baal! Hear and answer, Baal! Mark how the scorner derideth us!

Cut yourselves and get all emo! This part reminds me of that Opus Dei guy in the Da Vinci Code who was all into self-mutilation. I guess these S&M rituals have been with us since the ages.

By the way, the hear and answer section will convince you that John Williams “borrowed” from Mendelssohn to write the Star Wars theme.

#14: “Draw Near, All Ye People.”
Elijah: Draw near, all ye people, come to me! Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, this day let it be known that Thou art God, and that I am Thy servant! Lord God of Abraham! Oh shew to all this people that I have done these things according to Thy word. Oh hear me, Lord, and answer me! Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, oh hear me and answer me, and shew this people that Thou art Lord God. And let their hearts again be turned!

Baal is a no-show, so now it’s Elijah’s turn to phone the man upstairs.

#15: “Cast Thy Burden Upon The Lord.”
Angels: Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee. He never will suffer the righteous to fall: He is at thy right hand. Thy mercy, Lord, is great, and far above the heavens. Let none be made ashamed, that wait upon Thee!

He brought you the drought, but just bend the knee and everything is gonna be alright …
Singin’ — don’t worry about a thing …
’Cause every little thing gonna be alright …

#16: “O Thou, Who Makest Thine Angels Spirits”
Elijah: O Thou, who makest Thine angels spirits; Thou, whose ministers are flaming fires: let them now descend!
The People: The fire descends from heaven! The flames consume his offering! Before Him upon your faces fall! The Lord is God, the Lord is God! O Israel hear! Our God is one Lord, and we will have no other gods before the Lord.
Elijah: Take all the prophets of Baal, and let not one of them escape you. Bring them down to Kishon’s brook, and there let them be slain.
The People: Take all the prophets of Baal and let not one of them escape us: bring all and slay them!

Elijah is a true Targaryen. He’s brought the fire. And God is turning angels into vodka, gin, tequila, rum and whisky. No wonder the people are all jumping on the bandwagon now. And Elijah’s as merciless as Jon Snow’s aunt. Baal’s prophets are all toast. “Before Him upon your faces fall!” That’s my favorite line in the whole piece. This is the part where the losers face-plant before God while the people are all like, “Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame …”

#17: Is Not His Word Like A Fire?”
Elijah: Is not His word like a fire, and like a hammer that breaketh the rock into pieces! For God is angry with the wicked every day. And if the wicked turn not, the Lord will whet His sword; and He hath bent His bow, and made it ready.

Elijah actually says “hammer” 13 times in this aria. (This is a two-hour show, so Mendelssohn had to drag it out somehow.) I think we got the point. And if all else fails, he’s got some Valyrian steel as back-up too.

#18: “Woe Unto Them Who Forsake Him!”
Woe unto them who forsake him! Destruction shall fall upon them. For they have transgressed against Him. Though they are by Him redeemed, yet they have spoken falsely against Him.

Though the score didn’t specify which character this alto solo represents, it’s safe to say it’s an angel-type narrator who’s totally rubbing it in.

#19: “O Man Of God, Help Thy People!”
Obadiah: O man of God, help thy people! Among the idols of the Gentiles, are there any that can command the rain, or cause the heavens to give their showers! The Lord our God alone can do these things.

Your idols ain’t got no dragons and they can’t do shit. If this was a Disney movie, it would go like this: “Poor unfortunate souls / In pain, in need / This one longing to be thinner / That one wants to get the girl / And do I help them? / Yes, indeed.” AMEN! (Oh wait, we still have 24 movements before we get to the Amen part.)

#19A: “Thou Hast Overthrown Thine Enemies”
Elijah: O Lord, Thou hast overthrown Thine enemies and destroyed them. Look down on us from heaven, o Lord; regard the distress of Thy people. Open the heavens and send us relief. Help, help Thy servant now, o God!
The People: Open the heavens and send us relief. Help, help Thy servant now, o God!

Elijah doing the rain dance.

Elijah: Go up now, child, and look toward the sea. Hath my prayer been heard by the Lord!
The Youth: There is nothing. The heavens are as brass, they are as brass above me.
Elijah: When the heavens are closed up because they have sinned against Thee. Yet if they pray and confess Thy name, and turn away from their sins when Thou dost afflict them: then hear from heaven, and forgive the sin. Help, send Thy servant help, o God!
The People: Then hear from heaven, and forgive the sin. Help, send Thy servant help, o God!

It’s taking some time for the laxative to work.

Elijah: Go up again, and still look towards the sea.
The Youth: There is nothing. The earth is as iron under me.

Kid, you’re standing on the Iron Throne.

Elijah: Hearest thou no sound of rain! Seest thou nothing arise from the deep!
The Youth: No, there is nothing.
Elijah: Have respect to the prayer of Thy servant, o Lord, my God! Unto Thee will I cry, Lord, my rock, be not silent to me! And Thy great mercies remember, Lord.
The Youth: Behold, a little cloud ariseth now from the waters; it is like a man’s hand! The heavens are black with cloud and with wind; the storm rusheth louder and louder!
The People: Thanks be to God for all His mercies.
Elijah: Thanks be to God! For He is gracious; and His mercy endureth for evermore!

Finally, rain — lots and lots of rain. Somewhere a queen is born, and her name is Stormborn.

#20: “Thanks Be To God!”
The People: Thanks be to God! He laveth the thirsty land. The waters gather, they rush along, they are lifting their voices. The stormy billows are high, their fury is mighty. But the Lord is above them and almighty.

Lave = wash. God is pissing down holy water by the bucket. This is a happy song. It sounds like “Joy To The World” and will remind you of Christmas.

It’s now time for intermission, when you’ll go to the lavatory to piss and lave yourself. In a very happy mood.

** Part 3 **

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