Interesting problem. I’m going to try to open your mind here a little bit.
I hear your frustration, because several people are telling you that you’re putting out seductive signals when you’re not.
If several people tell you something, they’re probably accurate in detecting something about you, they may just be wrong in telling you what. So maybe, just maybe, you are sending out seductive signals, and it has nothing to do with how you’re dressed, or what you say to people or whether you’re interested in people as people.
One of the big personal upgrades I got in life was learning Martial Arts/Qi Gong, and realizing that Qi, even if we don’t understand the mechanism, is a real thing. People put Qi out into the world, and are affected by other peoples Qi. We are constantly affected by the Qi other people put into the world around us. We just don’t like to talk about it because its too woo woo, but its really very simple; our bodies extend beyond our skin.
When I first started dating, I was not connecting to women with my Qi, which consequently meant I was forever in the “friend” zone. Eventually, I figured out that I had to project a certain degree of “intimacy”, and women suddenly got much more interested in me. (blush)
This was before I knew about Qi, so my way of describing it was a little more vague. Now, years later, I realize that what I was doing was connecting to them with my Qi, not “projecting intimacy”. Prior to that, I’d been walled off with my Qi, so I’d seemed more aloof, hence women placing me in the friend category.
From a Qi point of view, I’ve noticed that flirtations and seductions, while sometimes starting from talking, really start first with a Qi connection between people. Perhaps you’ve had the experience of knowing that co-workers are involved because they’re obviously connected, you just didn’t know how to describe how they were connected.
It sounds to me that from a Qi perspective, your Qi is often touching and interacting with others. There’s a point at which everyone has to do that with each other, but I think your natural state is just a little more intimate than most people.
Lest you think I’m shifting the blame back onto you, let me point out, that when you take responsibility for your part in a situation, you also take control of a situation. Learning about and controlling your insubstantial connection to others is something you can do, and it will also help you professionally.