Troubleshoot your low self-esteem with this video

You sweat blood and work hard for the promotion, the promotion which you thought will give you the security and a super power to never be nervous or at loss of words or the magic which will make you do things just because you wanted rather than you wanted to be perceived as someone.

You get the promotion, you are happy and satisfied, a certain self-assurance appears on your face. You think- this was the thing, you will be OK now forever...

Two-three days go by, you randomly meet a person on the staircase, your eyes wide and you nervously smile. You manage to utter some words, then the guy tells you how cool his project and how he is being appreciated in his project. Meanwhile things start falling inside you, your palpitation increases, then you say your project is so so, actually not good, he congratulates you for the promotion, says ‘You deserved it’, then you go- no its no big deal, you do not know why you got promoted, anybody could have done that…and blah blah…

The guy leaves, and you gather your broken pieces and wonder why did you say that?

Be it promotion, getting into a good school, passing exams with good marks, buying expensive stuff…I did all of it..nothing gave me the super power to eliminate the LOW from my low self-esteem. I did not know my enemy, I did not know its behaviour or triggers to tackle it.

Doing everything or anything without understanding the cause to solve the problem, will only provide the momentary relief. Overtime, things like this will leave you hopeless and tired, will make you believe that there is something utterly wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong in having something wrong within you. It can be dealt, only if you know the reasons of the wrong. Like any other problem tackle your low self-esteem head-on. Find the reason, it might take sometime to go back, introspect, and understand the reasons. But, it is totally worth doing it, actually there is no other option than this.

It will not eliminate the low, but you will understand yourself better. You might be able to reason with yourself, whenever you suddenly find yourself paralysed. You might be able to tell yourself the reasons which ingrained the low self esteem in you, are no longer valid, so your behaviour is also no longer valid.

I found the below video very helpful in troubleshooting my low self-esteem.

Video Summary:

Self Esteem can be mapped to various internal reasons rather than to the extrinsic ones, essentially three as per the video:

• What your same sex parent did?

If your same sex parent was regarded highly(academically or economically), whatever you achieve or do in life, you would find comparing yourself to your parent, sub-consciously.

• How is your peer group doing? Peer group could be any of the following-
  - people who educated with us
  - people of our age
  - people in the same geography

You would often find yourself trapped in the rat race to get to the finish line first to feel good about yourself and gain other acceptance.

• Love received in childhood

-conditional love: which meant high grades = love. This leads to striving to impress every one you meet in search of unsatisfied desire of approval.

-unconditional love: even on failure you know there’s a place you are valued. And eventually as you grow up, you would know whatever may be the failures you might have to face, you would non of these is going to define your worth.