Rewind

In a parallel universe where the time runs in reverse manner this day is being sketched out differently. In that universe, I open my eyes to find myself sitting by the window sipping black coffee that you detested. You have always been a cappuccino lover, haven’t you? Emptying two packets of sugar in your coffee, I wonder how this much sugar din’t kill you already. You are lying on the couch kept next to the window with a book in your hand. Which was the last book you had read, wasn’t it the one I had gifted you on your last birthday? I hear the clock tick and my eyes move towards it, its midnight already. There are three photos with our smiling faces hung on the wall just below the clock. We had clicked those pictures on the beach, the day you had asked me to move in with you. I had not expected you asking me that, I shift my eyes to the couch to tell you this and it’s empty, you are not there nor is any sign of you around the room. I shut my eyes and I open them again, it’s 10 on the clock. I blankly keep looking at the wall for a while and feel something on my cheek, it feels warm and wet. I take my palm to my cheek tracing the wetness towards the eyes. I had been crying, the streak of tears run from my eyes to my cheek and even lips, down the chin. Am I crying because we broke up? I remember you walking away while I stood by the yellow house with painted blue door which made creaking sound. I hear the creak of the door and see a girl standing by, with a plate in her hand. She is asking me to eat something. She tells me things will become fine. It appears like she is consoling me of something. I hear your name. She is talking about you. Why can’t I understand what she is talking about? I don’t even feel hungry and I want to tell her this but I am not able to say anything. I can’t make words come of out my mouth. She sits on the couch you were sitting when you had come back after the day of our break up. We had patched up, remember? You had told me how sorry you were to slap me in your drunken state. You promised me that you will never ever do that again. I was so angry. I dint want you around. But I also knew of the troubles you were going through which was keeping you out until late at night. I knew was wrong to question your loyalty or to lie about sleeping with a guy I met the night we had gotten into a brawl. That made you angry and that’s why you slapped me. Din’t you? I remember seeing guilt in your eyes. Guilt and a promise that you would never do that again. I remember walking towards you and sinking in your arms, taking a step back to look into those ocean like eyes of yours, still with your arms wrapping me tight. Your breath feels warm and yours lips brush softly against mine. My eyes close on their own, I pull you closer wanting every bit of you to be mine. When I open my eyes, I am in an empty room and you are not around. The room looks like a mess though, why are things thrown around. Shattered pieces of glass glisten in the light of the sun coming through the gap which the dark drapes over the window aren’t covering. The clock ticks, I look towards it and the time is 4. Your guitar is lying at one corner, I picked it up from its usual place on the wall only to keep it in the corner because I couldn’t bear the thought of causing it any damage. I was furious, I wanted to rip the world apart, shred just about everything, I felt so much rage. I was going around breaking anything and everything in my reach. I pushed the shelves to make them come falling to the ground. I tore apart the cushions and throw on the wall, the mug followed by photo frames and candles and wind chime. I wanted to feel at ease but couldn’t even after vetting out the anger, there was something that was hurting me from within. And it kept hurting me. I am standing in the room looking at the wall on which the clock hangs the hour hand of which strikes 2. I am on the floor feeling broken and hurt. There is someone sitting across on the floor by the wall, he is wearing that harry potter tshirt we had bought 2 days back for your best friend. His head is buried in his hands which rests onto his folded legs. He lifts his chin up and I can see the tear smeared face of your best friend. He stands up and I am crying on his shoulders and he too is crying, I am relentlessly hitting him and pushing him away while he tries to calm me down. There is still tears in his eyes. He is now standing at the door, outside our home, I am standing inside. We are not even talking, we are standing there, staring at each other but I can’t see his face clearly. I can’t even hear anything properly. Is he saying something? It appears like he is mumbling and I see a streak of tear run down his cheek. I can feel his voice cracking while his lips continue to move as if he is talking. I hear accident and I hear your name and he talks something but I am not able to make out what he is saying. I hear the clock strike 12 and I have your friend standing at the door. He looks distraught. I was preparing lunch as you were on your way home when I heard the bell ring and walked towards it thinking that you must have arrived than I had thought only to find your bestie standing at the door. The smell of freshly made cheesy brisket lingers in the kitchen as I make my way to the door swaying to the sound of Huron’s ‘the night we met’ in the background.