The Magic Word: Sorry
I was feeling so bad the other day. I lost a lot of things all at once because of some people’s dull sense of responsibility. The thing is, nothing can be done when something already happened and most people think that they’ve got a one quick fix to everything: the magic word “Sorry”.
I appreciate people who say sorry like they really meant it. There are always two types: those who say sorry cause they really are and those who say it just for the heck of saying it and there’s a big difference between how they use it.
I suddenly remembered, once during one of my OJT days I bumped someone while walking towards the office and eventually spilled some coffee on me. Ofcourse I immediately wore my annoyed face but the other guy was really sorry and he offered to wipe the mess off me. I mean, he kept on saying sorry repetitively and it’s not like he meant it anyway. Ofcourse, that was a start of a bad day but somehow it became bearable because the other guy was nice.
Around 2 weeks ago, someone ruined the day because of changing the plans of the day itself which eventually led to rescheduling it to an indefinite date. I was pissed but ofcourse with that long message, I had to become a little bit more understanding than I already was. C’mon, she was already feeling bad about it so why not accept the apology right? But seriously, I was pissed because of that last minute change but it was an emergency and as a caring friend I must be more lenient.
However, some people misunderstands the use of the word sorry. They really think it’s a magic word to fix all stuffs and serve as an scapegoat from the mess they made. Day by day, it’s been like that and for some reason, the word “Sorry” doesn’t seem to be very effective to me lately unless ofcourse you are an elderly.
For example, I always remind people not to reset the modem to factory settings because of my customized settings for the router but still, people would reset it without notifying me. They would eventually apologize about it afterwards but does that mean a thing for me? No.
I’ve grown tired of people being so damn “sorry”. They do not understand that the more they use the word, the more it became less meaningful and the more it seems they are really intending to do the same thing to you. However, you as a recipient couldn’t do anything but to the accept.
When we were kids we’re always like that. At school, everytime we tried to sneak out of school and have ourselves caught, the usual thing we say is “Sorry, we’re never going to do it again.” But at the backs of our mind, we scheme on doing it again, this time even better. I thought we were sorry but apparently we were not.
It diminishes trust.
Once it becomes repetitive, it diminishes the trust of the other person. To the point that the other person acknowledged the word but isn’t accepting it. It builds doubt in the sense that the next time you do something similar, it questions the credibility of your words and your apology afterwards. Ofcourse, he was expecting it.
When I usually talk to couples and they have having their bad day and argues a lot, majority would say they would apologize and the other person would usually say “You always say sorry, but you always do it again and again and again.”
People tend to encore everything from top to bottom and we never learn.
We think when we say sorry, it fixes the shit and eases someone’s pain but apparently it doesn’t. Yes, at some point it is effective but people tend to be immune to the things you do and eventually your apology won’t mean a thing. Just empty words.
Imagine a paper full of the word sorry and another paper having the same thing. The tendency is you reading the first line and barely finishing up to the last line for the first paper and once you look at the paper having the same contents you barely have any motivation to read it. Right? That’s the same thing.
Saying sorry for something bad just for the sake of it, stop it. The more you use it, the more it looks bad on you. It becomes more and more annoying.
Yes, some people are really apologetic I do get it but that it isn’t an excuse.
If you really meant it, the first time you said it you would always try to avoid to repeat the same thing all over again. Because if you meant the word , you’d live by it. If you really meant it, you don’t have to apologize every now and then.
It’s no magic word. It’s an insult to someone who believed in you, who cared for you and an insult to yourself as well.
Ironically, I’m apologetic as well, that’s why maybe I lost the sense of self-respect.