To The Girl Dealing with Resentment
“I will never forgive you.”
I can’t tell you how many times I have said or thought those words.Why?
Because I was either hurt or embarrassed by an insult (probably embarrassed to tell you the truth-thanks, feelings).
(Random side note: It’s funny how we can hear so many good things about ourselves but as soon as we hear one bad thing, that’s what we remember).
Girls are notorious for keeping grudges. Call it being stubborn. Call it being strong-willed. Call it whatever. They all boil down to one thing…
Resentment
We can recall just about every bad remark somebody has said about us. Even if it’s as little as, “Those shoes do not go with that outfit.” It’s hurtful and embarrassing so, naturally, we take it to heart and permanently store it to remember forever.That example was nothing compared to some comments I’ve heard. I’ve witnessed some girls who almost get into World War 3 over petty little insults. All because the under lying problem was resentment- not being able to forgive and move on.
I’ve been a victim of the resentment game and I can tell you it’s not fun, in fact, it’s actually draining. You’re constantly stressed and feel like you have a heavy weight on your chest. The worst is when you see that person after everything went down. You can’t help but get angry all over again as those memories rush back in about what they said or made you feel… you know the feeling.
Be the bigger person and forgive.
“Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
Set your pride and feelings aside. It’s so much easier to let whatever it is go and forgive right then and there before you put too much thought into it.I know I don’t have to go into over thinking too much because we’ve all experienced that. The more we think about the situation, the more upset we get. You’re probably more upset 20 minutes later than you were at the time it happened.
The reason? We analyze it waaayyyyy too much. Suddenly that one little insult becomes the World War 3 I was talking about earlier.
Why not avoid all that? Just. Forgive. Them.
For real, the amount of negative thoughts and feelings about that person are not worth it in the end. You’re wasting your energy just sitting there thinking about one little insult that the rest of your friends probably forgot about 2 minutes later. In fact, if you blow up and make a big deal about it, your friends will more than likely remember that part better than what actually started the fight.
If it isn’t going to affect you in the future, let it go! (apologies if you are now singing the song from Frozen.) More than likely an insult will not, I repeat, WILL. NOT affect your future. Forgive them and move along m’friend.
Let me put it this way.
Let’s go back to the shoe scenario. Someone walks up to you and says,” Those shoes don’t go with that outfit.” At this point you immediately get embarrassed because she made a scene in front of everyone, which causes you to say something to embarrass her. Typical move, right?
We’ve all been there before. Our feelings get the best of us and before you know it you two are done with each other and don’t want to talk or see each other anymore. Something so little just turned into a major issue, aka World War 3. You go home that night knowing you stood up to her and that you’re completely done with her because you “can’t even” with her anymore. But, because you guys never forgave each other you can’t stop thinking about. Now, you are legit mad. Just the thought of her makes you furious.
Here’s the plot twist.
How would you feel if the very next day you found out she was in a bad accident and died? (I know, that’s harsh, but it can happen. Nobody is promised tomorrow.)
How big does that issue seem now? Probably not big at all, right? That’s what I’m talking about when I say if it won’t affect you in the future why let it affect you now.In the grand scheme of things, those little insults mean nothing. Why let it bother you that much that you won’t forgive someone for it. You have all this resentment towards them because of what they said or how they made you feel.
People are going to let you down in life, they’re going to hurt your feelings and embarrass you. That’s life.
As I’m writing this I received a text from a friend canceling plans we made 2 weeks ago. As bad as I want to get mad about it I just have to say, “okay, no big deal” and move on. Sure, it’s a letdown, but I can’t let something so little ruin a friendship over it.Ironically enough, as I was finishing that last sentence I received a text from a different friend. She invited me to lunch. Unfortunately, I had to say no. I’m sure it was a letdown for her. It makes me feel guilty to say no, but I already had plans made. I just have to apologize and hope that it won’t upset her and that she will forgive me and move on.
Forgiveness is a powerful life tool.
It shows that you have a caring heart just like Jesus does. He forgives us without any consideration and AS SOON as we ask. Not a moment later.The best part- He not only forgives us, but he also forgets our sins! How amazing is that? He truly forgives and forgets! I don’t know about you, but that makes me incredibly thankful. He won’t ever hold our sins against us at any time. I know I would be in trouble if He did that. I would feel so guilty all the time. Fortunately for us, He completely erases the sin and gives us a clean slate to start all over again.
If He can do that so easily for every single individual who has lived and is living why can’t you? It’s tough to forgive and forget, but you’re tougher!
From one tough girl to another!
