How to do keto practically

This is how I do keto. Purists need not read any further. For everyone else, this is a realistic approach to keto from the perspective of someone who cares about how things taste and has better things to do than keep a food diary or pee on ketone test strips.

Grocery List

Sorry, but I’m not buying MCT oil or psyllium husk. I’m buying what I can find in the goddamn grocery store for a reasonable price.

This is more staples than a complete list.


  • Store brand 80% lean ground beef. 
    Obviously grass-fed is better if you can afford it…
  • Store brand pork chops.
  • Purdue pre-packaged chicken breasts.
    I freeze them and use as needed. Very convenient.
  • Bacon.
  • Shrimp.
  • Buffalo chicken salad.
  • Lunch meats with no preservatives.


  • Cheese sticks.
  • Cheese squares.
    Processed cheese is bad but I don’t care.
  • Shredded cheese.


  • Butter.
    For now, store brand. In the future, I might switch to Kerrygold because the cows are grass-fed and it’s supposedly better for you.
  • Ranch dressing.
    Try to find low-carb dressings and sauces.
  • BBQ sauce.
  • Mayo.
  • Mustard.
  • Ketchup.
    Very small amount at a time because it’s not exactly keto-friendly.


  • STōK unsweetened iced coffee.
  • Heavy cream.
    Put it in iced coffee. It makes the drink kind of greasy and honestly half and half tastes better but it’s a small trade-off because the extra fat is good for the diet.
  • Coke Zero Sugar.
    I don’t care about the effects on insulin response. It doesn’t have carbs or sugar. I need it to continue the diet long-term and be happy. Sue me.
  • Diet lemon iced tea.


  • Salad kits.
  • Lettuce.
  • Tomatoes.
  • Onions.
  • Mushrooms.
  • Lemons.


  • Almonds.
  • Beef jerky.
  • Pork rinds.
    Doesn’t taste as good as chips. Takes some getting used to.
  • Guacamole.


  • 86% cacao dark chocolate.
    Higher percentage is better. Not sure if it tastes worse though.

Some Meal Ideas

  • Grilled chicken salad with ranch.
  • Lettuce-wrapped bacon cheeseburger.
  • Lettuce-wrapped chicken bacon sandwich.
  • BBQ pork chops.
  • Bacon and eggs.
  • Grilled shrimp with lemon.
  • Grilled chicken with caramelized onions and mushrooms.

Keto Stuff I’ve Tried That Sucks

  • Riced cauliflower.
    Just can’t get into it. Others might not mind though.
  • Stevia.
    Horrible taste.

Things I’m Looking Into

  • Making good-tasting keto sandwich bread that resembles real bread and doesn’t deflate.
  • Trying zucchini noodles.
  • Finding more keto recipes.
  • Learning more about reasonable supplements.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

  • My energy levels have improved. Crashes are gone. I’ve lost some weight and I feel better generally.
  • Biggest staple that I miss is bread. I’m trying to come up with a solution.
  • Wrapping everything in lettuce sucks big time.
  • Giving up sugar is hard but not as hard as you might think.
  • If you tell anyone you’re going keto, you’ll probably get resistance. If you’re easily discouraged, it’s better to keep it to yourself.
  • Instead of trying to figure out how you can integrate fast food (no bun, artificial sweeteners, etc.) into your diet, just avoid it altogether. Unnecessary temptation.
  • If you live with others, tell them not to leave high-carb/high-sugar foods laying around. It’s hard to have self-control at 1 AM with a package of cookies in the kitchen.