(Post narrated for the lazy)
The Donald has a yuuuge collection of haters, and rightly so: he has tiny hands that he uses to terrorize people during handshakes (kind of like that alien life form in the movie “Life” starring a pre-cancer Deadpool). But what a lot of the haters (read ‘motivators’) don’t realize is that DTrump was destined to win the election this year. Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof.
Trump.
T-R-U-M-P.
“Trump” is a 9 point word in Scrabble.
Nine. Nine has 4 letters.
94' or 1994 is the year Nelson Mandela was sworn in as South Africa’s first black president. Specifically on May 10th 1994. Keep that date in mind, I’ll come back to it later.
Nelson Mandela was an anti-apartheid revolutionary, philanthropist and politician. He was born on July 18th 1918 which makes him a cancer.
Donald Trump has been described as a cancer to the United States.
See where I’m going here? I hope you’re sitting down because it gets even stranger.
The word stranger can be rearranged to “rest angr”.
“Rest angr” (if said with a slur) sounds a lot like “west Angkor”.
Angkor was the capital city of the Khmer Empire in Cambodia, and it flourished from the 9th to 15th centuries. There’s 9 again. Coincidence? Probably.
West Angkor as in “west of Angkor”.
What’s west of the former city of Angkor?
The Bay of Bengal.
Bengal.
The Cincinnati Bengals.
Who is the Cincinnati Bengals best wide receiver at the moment?
A.J. Green.
Guess what number A.J. Green wears?
18.
18 divided by 2 is 9.
9 AGAIN!
A.J. Green.
A.J. G.
Rearrange that and you get JAG.
JAG is a Television series with a U.S. Navy theme that catered to old people.
Remember May 10th 1994, the day Nelson Mandela was elected to office?
What’s 1994 plus 9?
2003.
Guess what?
JAG won Top Series at the 2003 American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers awards.
American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers is shortened to the acronym ASCAP.
But do you know what ASCAP actually stands for?
A Slimy Cheeto As President.
There it is. Proof that Donald Trump aka Tiny Hands Trump aka Fanta Face aka The weapon of mass distraction was destined to be the 45th president of the United States.
What’s 45 divided by 5?