ONE WEEK IN HELL

No meat. No dairy. No sugar. No beer. Sprinkle daily cardio on top and bake in the temperamental Melbourne sun for a week and you have a recipe to scare even Chris Traegar.

I’m no Chris Traegar.

For those of you who don’t know me well, I am a milk guzzling, beer gulping overweight carnivore barely keeping scurvy at bay. I also haven’t exercised regularly or vigorously for well over a year.

I am going to attempt to stick to a strict (and frankly, impossible), diet and exercise plan for the next week; no meat, dairy, sugar or beer while going to the gym every day.

For me, rather than being a social experiment with some higher meaning, this week is about shocking my body into some pretense of health — a clean slate if you will. For too long I have ignored the number on the scales and it’s time to change that.

And hey, if I’m going to torture myself to the point of insanity for a week, I might as well extract some decent content from it.

So come along and join the ride — I can almost guarantee that at some point I’ll be rocking back and forth in the corner of my room in the fetal position crying.