Hitched: Why I got married
I take myself pretty seriously, but more than that, I take my TIME very seriously. It creates a disconnect between myself and a lot of people.
I think our interactions with people have the greatest effect on us, and in turn, our trajectory in life.
I’ve learned this much; you have virtually no control over any given situation
but you do have control over what you subject yourself to.
Like it or not; whenever you enter into a situation, you are inherently effected by it.
Conversation is one of biggest factors in this.
No matter what your purpose is, or what stage you are at in pursuing it, it’s important to surround yourself with people,
and situations in which you can succeed.
Some things can really put a hitch in your giddy-up.
I recently got married.
Let me explain to you why that was a good idea.
We were “friends” for three days before we both started letting little things slip out.
By the end of the first week we were planning out the wedding.
During that time I was unemployed,
living at home,
going to school online,
and I had a few side projects I was working on.
Not major selling points as a bachelor but she chose me.
In fact, she was the “pursuer” from the beginning.
So the deciding factor in whether or not I wanted to get married was her desire to marry me when I was in that place.
She got it.
She was on board.
Rachael is not my “end game.”
She never has been.
Never will be.
If the people you are associating with value your relationship to them over your purpose,
or whatever you want to call it, you’re doing yourself a horrible disservice.
Many of us fail to reach our potential because of the pain that may come from rectifying this exact problem.
There are warning signs that a relationship (of any capacity) or environment is preventing you from flourishing.
Trivialness. It’s the best word I can come up with. Respecting your time is key to any sort of progress in pursuing your passion.
I’m not telling you to sell your Xbox
but I would encourage you to make an accurate log of your time for one week.
Negativity. We’ve all heard this speech before but it’s for good reason.
Chances are you have at least one person in your life who hates what their “day to day” looks like.
and home life are all a burden to this person.
If they aren’t actively seeking out a way to change that, it may be time to reassess whether or not their company is helping you move in the direction you want to go.
As Kendrick Lamar so eloquently put it,
“Sometimes I need to be alone.
Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.”
There many be some things you need to distance yourself from or maybe you notice yourself doing that already.
The individuality of your purpose can cause you to be increasingly singular.
Certain people, activities, and places can become less relevant to you.
This is exactly why you see the most committed artist living their lives in abject poverty for the sake of their craft.
Say you are a painter with $5 in your back account.
You get paid tomorrow at midnight.
You have no food at home and you need a can of spray paint to finish the piece you have been working on.
What do you do?
Extreme, I know, but if you find yourself running up to McDonald’s in this situation, what does that say about your commitment to your purpose?
If you’re afraid to get to that point, ask yourself,
“Am I in love with my purpose or am I in love with the IDEA of being (X)?”
I’m not trying to come off as preachy but I wholeheartedly believe that these thoughts and questions are crucial at every point in the pursuit of your purpose.
I would encourage you that the world is full of people who live passionate lives.
And just as trivialness and negativity can have an effect on your progress, so can passionate,
and progressive relationships and environments.
There are those out there that want you to succeed and experience the fulfillment that can only come by doing “that thing.”
That’s the school you need to go to,
that’s the group of friends you should be hanging out with,
and that’s exactly who you should marry.
-The Ideas Guy