ghosting

If there’s something strange in your neighborhood — it’s probably just you.

GIF Credits: Tenor

What is Ghosting?

Ghosting, a verb, is otherwise defined by Wikipedia as simmering or icing and it is a colloquial term which describes the practice of ending all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said person.

If you ever wondered if ghosting existed back in the stone age, you’re not alone. To my dismay, the term ghosting was only coined in the early 2000s though I’m pretty sure that it exists back in the day without a given term for it. Sucks to be born in this era indeed!

Social media and dating apps have introduced the term to the world through experiences typically related to a lack of communication and transparency in a relationship or situationship as the kids call it nowadays.

The question to ask is — why is ghosting so common in this day and age?

Privilege. If you’re in your 20s, get this you’re privileged.

It’s the accessibility to (for the lack of a better term)— “pick and choose” a friendly face to make connections with online. See, when we are handed many options, it can easily turn into greed and when you’re greedy you’ll lack the essence of value. You forget to stay grounded and appreciate what you have so instead you sought out looking for more. Picture this, if you had 5 pens and you could get 5,000 more — it wouldn’t bother you if 1 out of 5 pens got lost/stolen/damaged right? Cause there was no sense of value or attachment to the 5 pens.

Does ghosting someone make you a bad person?

Morality police says hell yes. Definitely it reflects on your character because you left someone hanging without a given explanation as to why he/she was ghosted and that could entail a certain sense of self-questioning doubt and insecurity as to why they were not good enough for a reasonable explanation.

However, I personally think that ghosting someone does not make you a bad person. I feel that I get to make the decision on who deserves an explanation and who does not. Let’s say if were truly no strings attached and the relationship as you know it was mutual by consensus from the beginning then what’s the need to go out of the way to explain yourself.

I guess the common attribute to ghosting is the lack of ground rules or transparency from the start of the communication. Inevitably things will get messy if the feelings shared between two is truly only felt by one and ghosting is like a quick jump down the fire escape.

Swift. Easy. Convenient.

To ghost or not to ghost, that’s on you — live your life in your own terms as one should.

Unsolicited Advice

Know your worth. Know who deserves your time and who does not. It is as simple as that really. There is a saying that goes “Stop watering things that were never meant to grow in your life”. So before you waste hours, minutes or even seconds of your time wondering why you’re not good enough for them, ask yourself were they ever good enough for you?

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Novice writer from Singapore. Enjoy the read, never hold back on the constructive criticism.

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Aleona Miami

Aleona Miami

Novice writer from Singapore. Enjoy the read, never hold back on the constructive criticism.

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